Letter from Mrs. Martin to Mrs. Guérin CF 45
28 February 1869.
I'm angry with you; you bought linen in Lisieux, much more expensive than that which I would have procured for you, I who find such good ones here, I have never had the like; it is worth twice that which I used before. You must have thought that it was an oversight on my part not to have replied to you on this subject, and you should not suppose that it bothered me in any way. I am only happy and content when it is given to me to be of service to you. Another time, if I fail to answer you on what you ask me, please remind me, and above all do not buy a canvas, I will provide it to you first hand.
I took care today to find you a cook; I would have found ten, if you didn't insist that she knew how to cook perfectly; ordinary maids are no more lacking than drops of water in the river, but those who are capable are highly sought after and difficult to find. It's really sad to have to be served. I am so afraid of giving you a bad one that it worries me more than I can say. I pray to the Blessed Virgin to get her hands on a perfect one; don't be impatient, I'll take care of it so much that I'll succeed in the end.
Now let's talk about something else. The day I received the news that the little ones had been admitted to the Congregation of the "Children of Jesus", they both arrived in the evening, with M. Vital (M. Vital Romet and Ms. Pauline had a brother living in Le Mans They went there often and kindly took care of taking the little girls out or bringing them back to Alençon); that was Thursday, a fortnight. They are still there and I don't know when they will go back to the convent. It's because of a high school student who was taken with typhoid fever. It was thought prudent to send the boarders back to their families until the patient was able to go to her parents. I was quite upset about this, because they won't have a vacation at Easter. Now I am daily waiting for a letter to send them back; they were both ill, especially Marie, who had great heartaches with a bad cold.
I see with pleasure, my dear sister, that your little girl makes you happy; I was so happy, too, with my first; in my eyes, there were no children like her. I was hoping it would go just as easily for everyone else. I was wrong; which will teach me for another time, not to dream of lasting happiness, something quite impossible here below!
Also, you would not believe how terrified I am of the future, about this little being I am waiting for; it seems to me that the fate of the last two will be his, it is for me a continual nightmare. I believe the apprehension will be worse than the harm. When misfortunes have happened, I resign myself quite well, but fear is torture for me. This morning, during mass, I had such dark thoughts about it that I was quite upset. The best thing is to place everything in the hands of the good God and to await events calmly and surrender to his will. That's what I'm going to try to do.
