WAS
The Servant of God was very faithful in fulfilling all the observations that the Mother Prioress made down to the smallest details, because she always saw the good God in those who held her place among us. She often reproached me for my lack of a spirit of faith and submission: "If you really see the good God in your superiors, she said to me, you would never reflect on what they say, but you would always obey. blindly, without the slightest feedback on yourself
I have always been struck by the great recollection in which the Servant of God lived, even in the most entertaining occupations. For example, in the laundry, you could feel that she was always united with the good Lord, she never showed dissipation despite this tiring work, and when she saw that I was giving myself too much to work, she corrected me saying: "What Do you do so? Act in everything to please the good God, be more interior, occupy yourself more with Jesus, even in the midst of your labors which are so hard and so painful that they
be. Raise your soul higher than all that passes, that is to say above all the things of the earth
LOVE OF GOD
Often the servant of God said to me: "Ah! if you want to achieve holiness, you must not content yourself with imitating the Saints, but you must be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect. Do not believe that for to reach the perfection that Our Lord asks of us, it is necessary to do great things, oh no! our love alone is enough for him, let us give him with joy all that he asks of us without making reservations, it is so sweet to to sacrifice oneself for the One whom one loves more than oneself, Then nothing costs more, everything becomes easy, especially when one is united to Jesus.
Sr Thérèse of the EJ had a very great devotion to the Holy Face of Our Lord, she often spoke to me about it, but what always struck me the most
it was her great love for the Blessed Virgin, when she was on this chapter she never stopped talking about this good Mother, I felt her heart overflowing with tenderness and love for her. So she advised me to entrust myself entirely to her, and to have for her the tenderness and simplicity of a very small child for her mother. A few weeks before her death, she called me and told me: "I will not be quiet on your account, you must promise me to recite a Remember to the Blessed Virgin every day. I promised her and there was faithful.
As we had not yet made profession, and as there was no one to sweep the chapel, it was the two of us who were responsible for fulfilling this office for a few weeks, which was a very sweet consolation to us.
But one day, the Servant of God, seized with a surge of love, goes to kneel on the altar, knocks at the door of the tabernacle: "Are you there, Jesus? Answer me, I beg you!" Resting her head on the little golden door, remained there for a few moments, then getting up, she looked at me, her face was as if transfigured and radiant with joy, as if something mysterious had happened between her and the divine prisoner of 'love.
Charity towards the neighbor
Although she was not always faithful in following the recommendations given to me by the Servant of God, she was never discouraged or discouraged by my resistance to following her good advice, always remaining the same towards me, as gentle, as full of charity, also compassionate.
When we needed the Servant of God to render some service and we came to disturb her, even though she was in a great hurry, we were always sure of being well received, never showing the slightest annoyance, and if it happened that she was unable to please, she apologized so kindly that people went away as happy as if she had rendered the service requested.
I can say in all truth that Sr Thérèse of the EJ has always been for my soul
a real mother, by the care she took of it, handing me nothing, not afraid to tell me all my truths, which was not always pleasant to hear.
I recognize that I have often exercised her virtue and I am convinced that another sister would have been in her place, I would have tired her patience and that she would have abandoned me, I was so unbearable, but for her he was not so, she always treated me with great love and charity, and I would even say affection, never showing the slightest annoyance.
When I was in the kitchen, if I refused to do a favor for my sisters, or if I seemed sad, we went to complain to Sr Thérèse of the EJ, and a moment later, I saw her arrive with her kind smile, and corrected me with great gentleness: "How sad it is for me, she said, to see you so little virtuous! it must have cost you a lot, but never say no.If you see the good God in each of your sisters, you would never refuse anything, on the contrary you would go to meet what she desires, that is true charity.
During the eight years that I had the happiness of spending with the servant of God, I never heard her lack charity; on the contrary, she always excused her sisters and found nothing but good things to say about them, always bringing out their virtues and their merits. When I told her of the fights that some gave me, she was careful not to agree with me, but attributed it to my lack of virtues!
If I complained to Sr Thérèse of the EJ that I couldn't stand such a sister because I felt that she didn't love me, because she always found fault with everything I did! She answered me: "Where is your virtue if you love only those who love you, what do you do more than sinners, they also love those who love them....
The servant of God was very charitable for all her sisters, particularly for the older ones, for whom she was full of consideration, respect and veneration, happy to render service to them when she had the opportunity; if she saw a nun burdened, she went quickly to relieve her of her burden, and that indifferently, doing it as well for a poor little lay sister as for a choir sister.
A nun with a difficult character, in charge of the lingerie, and whom no one wanted to be with her, Sr. to suffer. One day when I was going towards Sr Thérèse of the EJ, I had already been waiting for her for a long time, finally tired of seeing that she did not come, I was preparing to return home, when I live come with a beaming face of happiness. I asked her why she seemed so cheerful and where she came from? “I was, she replied, with my first job. - But what did she say to you to make you seem so happy? - She told me everything about me that displeased her! Maybe she thinks she hurt me, oh! no, on the contrary, it gave me pleasure. Also how much I would like to see her again in order to smile at her.
A moment later there was a knock at her door: and it was this sister whom she received with a kind smile, which greatly edified me, I remained amazed at such heroic virtue.
One year having expressed to her the desire that I had to make my annual retreat with her, to please me, the Servant of God was good enough to accede to my desire, and for three years she did me this favour; for that, she therefore let the period of her Profession pass, and waited for me to leave in solitude. But I learned later that it made her make a great sacrifice, which I never would have suspected because she didn't let it show. During these days of solitude, Our Mother allowed us to pass the hours of recreation together, which was a very sweet consolation to me; all our time we spent it talking about the good God, about his great love, about his immense desire to see him soon, not a word of the things of the earth came to mingle in our conversations
I cannot say how happy I was to hear his fiery words which did me so much good; I felt a heart overflowing with love for her Jesus. Also I would have listened to it for whole hours without tiring myself so much it interested me, and my heart so cold was set ablaze by the ardor of hers.
One year in particular when she seemed so fervent to me, flooded with supernatural consolations and as if lost in God, I envied her happiness, because I was suffering a lot internally, I went to find our mistress and told her of my distress: "That I would like to be like my Sr Thérèse of the EJ, she seems so happy, so consoled! "She smiled at my confidence, and told me that her soul was like mine in the greatest darkness! His answer surprised me, convinced that I was on the contrary.
I could go and find the Servant of God as much as I wanted, I was always sure of being well received, she never showed the slightest annoyance, on the contrary she always seemed happy to receive me and smiled kindly at me what she was doing. certainly by virtue; for what pleasure could she find in conversing with a poor ignorant little girl like me, who naturally bore her rather than interested her.
HUMILITY
A sister of the white veil, still a novice, having accused her and me of having taken steps to have her leave the monastery, which was absolutely false.
When Sr Thérèse of the EJ knew what it was about, she told me about it, so I looked at her, amazed, wondering what it meant. At the first moment I rebelled, but she rebuked me, and said to me with kindness: "Since our little sister thinks that of us, we must redouble our tenderness for her, when we meet her, do- give her a friendly smile, show her a lot of affection, and help her even on the smallest occasions, even go ahead; in this way she will no longer have difficulty in recognizing that she has made a mistake.
For several years, to excite me to the practice of virtue, we made small sacrifices together which we marked each day, and on Sundays she made a report of them, and then laid them at the feet of the Blessed Virgin, asking to bless our small efforts. Sr Thérèse of the EJ did not need to employ these small means for herself, she already so high in perfection, but only for me who needed so much to become perfect.
Having great difficulty in forcing myself to lower my eyes during the refectory as required by our regulations, to help me in the practice of this little mortification, Sr Thérèse of the EJ composed the following prayer, which was once again the revelation of her humility, because she asked for a grace that I alone needed.
Pray:
Jesus! your two little wives resolve to keep their eyes lowered during the refectory, in order to honor and imitate the example you gave them in Herod: when that impious prince laughed at you, O infinite Beauty, not a single complaint did not come from your divine lips. You do not even deign to fix your adorable eyes on him. Oh! undoubtedly divine Jesus, Herod did not deserve to be looked at by You, but we who are your wives, we want to attract your divine looks to us. We ask you to reward us with a look of love each time we refrain from raising our eyes, and we even ask you not to refuse this sweet look when we have fallen, since we count our failures.
We will form a bouquet that you will not reject, we have confidence in it. You will see in these flowers the desire to love you, to resemble you, and you will bless your poor children. O Jesus! look at us with love and give us your sweet kiss.
CAUTION and GENTLENESS
The servant of God was very discreet, we could entrust everything to her, we were sure that not a single word was repeated to anyone, not even to Mother Agnès of Jesus when she was prioress, which is why I I went to her in complete confidence, I could without fear tell her all my soul, which I had not been able to do with anyone, because I said everything to her as to a confessor, and always I was understood, and received the lights that my poor little soul needed.
I remember that there were sisters who were very opposed to the servant of God, and she endured everything with always equal virtue. There was also a good nun who spied on her continually and found it bad that the novices were so often at her house. This nun who lived in the same dormitory often came to find her without any serious reason. But as Sr Thérèse of the EJ had a very keen ear, anticipating that she might come and surprise her, as soon as she heard her approaching her cell, she got up, and to keep herself in countenance, took one of his alpargates and pretended to give explanations for the mending that had to be done. We had to
to use trickery to achieve something, and once the good sister left, we resumed our little talk.
One year when I was the only novice with her, our Mother sent me as an assistant to Sr Thérèse of the EJ to do a tiring job, and that bothered me a lot, because of the work I had to do. For her part, the Servant of God was delighted to find this opportunity to talk together, but out of mischief, I went there as quietly as possible. What was her astonishment to see me so displeased, instead of returning the amiable smile she gave me, I said very mortifying words to her, and I saw her still maintain the same serenity, as graceful as amiable as if I hadn't told him anything! So, unable to stand it any longer, I threw myself into his arms, asking his forgiveness for having been so naughty, which was quickly granted. I couldn't help admiring her virtue, because she didn't reproach me, she spoke to me as if nothing had happened to me...
The day when Mother Marie de Gonzague gave Sr Thérèse of the EJ her second brother, she forbade her to speak about it to Mother Agnès of Jesus, and not to tell her either when she would write to her: which was for the servant of God a great sacrifice, but in perfect obedience as in all the other virtues, she never said a single word to him. Out of prudence, fearing that Mother Agnès would come and surprise her writing, and would find it difficult for her to hide from her, she took care out of delicacy to bar the door of her cell, in order to be able to hide what she was doing without realizing it.
Even before the Servant of God was appointed Mistress of Novices, Mother Marie de Gonzague who was then Prioress, had given me permission to go with her to speak to me about the good Lord, because she did me a lot of good. ; despite this permission, we were obliged to hide ourselves so as not to be discovered, which would have caused great scenes. For this good Mother was seized with jealousy as soon as she saw that a sister gave her confidence to someone other than her.
POVERTY
I have always admired the Servant of God's constant fidelity even in the smallest subjugations, such as picking up a match, a piece of paper that she found in the paths and even the debris that fell from her broom.
I also noticed that the Servant of God was very diligent at work, she never lost a minute of her time; when I was in the direction with her, while speaking to me, I saw her pulling her little needle with great activity. So she advised me to be very scrupulous on this point, and to make good use of all my little moments, because, she said, time does not belong to us.
The sister currently in charge of the linen, told me one day while speaking to me of the Servant of God, how much she had been edified by her spirit of poverty, having asked her as a great favour, to give her in linen, all that she had older, more mended, everything that the other sisters wouldn't want to wear. This sister acceded to her request, which filled my Sr Thérèse of the EJ with joy.
The servant of God took great care of all that was entrusted to her, as well as of all that was for her use. For example her alpargates, she mended them until they died out! After his death, two pairs were found so worn and mended that I don't know a sister in the Cté who would have wanted to wear similar ones! How I now regret having burned them!
Those of our sisters who did not have the good fortune to know her would have been edified, judging for themselves how much she practiced the true spirit of poverty.
DETACHMENT
Sr Thérèse of the EJ never sought the company of her sisters, any more than their conversation, and that out of pure detachment, because she loved them very much,
but went with any nun in the Cte. I would even say that she preferred to go with those who were the most neglected, the least loved.
When it was a question of chasing the communities, Sr Thérèse of the EJ said to me:
"You know very well that if we come out, I won't abandon you" - Will you come with me? but what will your sisters say, they won't want to accept me in their company? “If they don't want you,” she replied, “I'll rent a small room and we'll both live together!
CHASTITY
A nun having come to see me, I asked permission to bring my sister Thérèse from the EJ, my little novitiate companion, which I was granted. When she left the parlor, this respectable nun said to our Mother who was present: "How delightful this child is! It is something heavenly, delicious, she is more from heaven than from earth... I thank you my mother for having brought her to me, she rests the soul, it is something so pure, so candid, finally this nun left Carmel not knowing how to thank for the happiness that had been brought to her.
The first time I saw Sr Thérèse of the EJ, she made me feel like an angel
his face really had a celestial reflection, and this impression remained always the same, not only during his postulancy, but also throughout his religious life.
MORTIFICATION
Sr Thérèse of the EJ was of perfect modesty, never running under the cloisters, walking very religiously, her eyes lowered, trying not to see anything, to know nothing of everything that was going on around her, never concerning herself with what did not concern her, she never gave her opinion on anything, unless asked, even though she did so with great discretion and in few words. "When you see several sisters gathered to talk, she told me, don't stop, go straight on your way, don't even try to hear what is being said, it's not mortified.
When I was still cooking, I always noticed in the servant of God a great mortification; we could give her everything we wanted, she never complained about anything, we were completely unaware of her taste on the food we served her, what she liked or didn't like, she took everything indifferently
In her great charity, she advised me not to go so often to our Mother, "because she said, it does a lot of harm to your soul, you only go there to find yourself and satisfy your nature, it does a lot of pain to the good Lord, you must mortify yourself and offer this sacrifice to Jesus, you must only go there for the really useful and indispensable things ". So she confided to me the sacrifices she had made at the beginning of her religious life . I, not being happy with his reflections, which were nevertheless very accurate, answered him with vivacity:
"You are doing well, you! Why shouldn't I do like you? - And here is the sublime answer that the servant of God gave me: "It is true that I am going to our Mother, but I feel that for me, it is no longer necessary for me to deny myself this consolation, because my heart is established in God
The Servant of God was very silent: I don't remember having heard her say useless words, especially during the hours of great silence: she didn't want anyone to talk to her during that time! She also never spoke in the regular places, if she needed to speak to a sister, she was careful to close the door faithfully before saying the first word, as is well recommended.
She stood out for her great punctuality, leaving everything she was doing at the first sound of the bell, even in the middle of a conversation, however interesting it was. If she worked, she didn't finish the stitch she started, leaving her needle as the bell found it. Acting in this way, she was always the first to come to the choir, which made her very happy because she said she had the blessing of the angel of the Community.
The servant of God never complained when she was cold, although she
suffered greatly from it; when I went to see her, I was greatly edified by her mortification; she didn't say she was in pain because she never complained about anything, but I could see it, her poor hands were all swollen and covered with chilblains, ready to pierce, barely able to hold her needle so much she had cold, so to warm up a little, she put them in her sleeves and said cheerfully: "Here's my little oven! How good Jesus has given it to me, what would I do if I didn't have it!" When I was in the kitchen and she had the opportunity to come there, which still happened quite often because she was a porter, I invited her to come and warm herself up a little, but she didn't want to, all my Instances were useless, I could achieve nothing. However, it was not forbidden, but the more opportunities my Sr. Thérèse of the EJ had to suffer and mortify herself to please God, the happier she was.
The servant of God was truly dead to herself, she never acted by nature or to satisfy her passions, one felt that everything in her was supernatural. She bore all the fatigue, but let nothing show of it.
HUMILITY
How the Servant of God would have liked out of humility to be considered the last in the City! humble and hidden!But know well that in the eyes of the good Lord, there is nothing small, if everything you do, you do it out of love.
Do not be afraid of your pain, nor your fatigue, always be very devoted, Jesus counts everything, and were it only at the time of your death, he will know how to amply reward you for all that you have done for him. Let us always work to increase his glory, make many small sacrifices and thus we will gain a large number of souls. Isn't that why we came to Carmel?
I can affirm that during the Servant of God's novitiate, I always saw her very respectful in listening to the observations of our Mistress, showing in everything the greatest deference and submission towards her. excuse, even if she was unfairly accused. She was in everything a subject of edification and a good example, you only had to look at her to know what to do. She never rushed into what she did either, keeping her perfect calm and complete possession of herself.
Sister Thérèse of the EJ wanted to be forgotten and always go last, even in the eyes of her family: she gave me this example: "For my uncle's birthday, I had written him only two lines, on purpose to go unnoticed and that no one paid attention to me. But what was my astonishment at the next parlor to hear him pay me more compliments than my sisters who had written to him
also, but much longer than me.
OBEDIENCE
The servant of God has always been a very fervent nun, I have never seen her commit the smallest infidelity against the rule. She was also perfectly obedient, down to the smallest details. When our Mother made some recommendation, she followed it to the letter and never missed it, which edified me a great deal.
FORCE
The servant of God, while being very gentle and firm and without slackness, never went back on something said, you always had to obey her no matter what, and not reply a single word.
As it often happened to me to have difficulties with the sisters of the
servant of God, I did not want to tell her what I suffered, for fear of causing her pain, and of lacking in delicacy; but she with her insight
who guessed everything, noticed it and said to me one day: "I'm sure you have fights against my sisters, why don't you tell me what they make you suffer. Don't be afraid to hurt me, I won't get any more than if you told me about another nun.
nothing more and told him everything I felt without embarrassing me. I can say that to my great edification, she never showed the slightest emotion, the slightest boredom.
SUPERNATURAL GIFTS
The servant of God had the gift of leading souls with a prudence a maturity beyond her age. How I regret having taken so little advantage of the good advice she gave me, because I now recognize that everything she said to me was inspired by God, and that she never acted according to her personal views. It is also true that I did not appreciate it as I should have done. Sr Thérèse of the EJ was truly a little saint who possessed all the virtues, to a rare degree of perfection, everything in her was accomplished.
When I entered the Carmel, Mother Marie de Gonzague was Prioress.
So I attached myself to her and loved her like a mother; the affection I felt for her, I believed it to be true, and proved it to her by the many little services I rendered her. But Sr Thérèse of the EJ who was a little saint, realized that my affection was entirely human and harmed my soul a lot, she would have liked to tell me everything she thought about it, but she felt that the moment had not arrived. She prayed a lot to know the will of the good God, and as soon as it was manifested to her, she no longer hesitated to tell me the whole truth.
It was December 8, 1892, an unforgettable day for me. The servant of God came to fetch me to go with her, which surprised me because it was not her habit to act like this with me. But I noticed from the start that she was no longer the same, and I wondered why such a sudden change. I sat down
so shyly at her side, taking my head in her hands, she laid it gently on her heart and held me thus all the time she spoke to me.
"My little sister, the good Lord wants me to tell you the whole truth today, everything that I think of your behavior, and the way you behave towards our Mother. You cause the good God a lot of pain because you seek yourself too much with her, your affection is quite natural, which is a great obstacle not only to your perfection, but also puts your soul in great danger. the world than to come to Carmel to ruin you, that's not how a good nun should act.” She said several things to me which were very hard to hear, humiliated me, and gave me great pain.
Internally, I recognized that she was telling the truth, and in the middle of my tears, I thanked her for having opened my eyes, I promised her to correct me, asking her as a grace to take me back from my faults, which she did without any hesitation despite the many obstacles she encountered there.
But the servant of God, foreseeing that there could be unfortunate consequences, said to me: "If our Mother realizes that you are in pain, you can very well tell her everything I have just told you. I would rather have her dismiss me from the monastery if she wants to, than fail in my duty". But I was careful not to go to her side in order to avoid meeting her, so much so that during the lifetime of Sr. Thérèse of the EJ, our Mother never knew of her. I consider it a signal grace to have never betrayed the servant of God to our Mother, having every opportunity to do so. I admit that at times, I was violently tempted to complain, but when I wanted to do so, I felt stopped by an invisible hand that held me back and prevented me from moving forward.
Sometimes I could barely hold her gaze, it was so deep and penetrating, I felt that she was reading everything that was going on in my soul. Once when I was in great pain, I had just spent a night of anguish, but I did not shed a single tear in fear that my red eyes would betray me, and that Sr Thérèse of the EJ would saw some; and now I meet her on my way.
She stops me: so I speak to her as kindly as possible in order to conceal my suffering from her, but what was my astonishment to hear her say to me: "You are in pain, I'm sure of it." I was amazed to see myself thus guessed! so I told her what made me suffer, and by her good advice, she consoled me and gave me peace of mind
REPUTATION OF HOLINESS
A few weeks ago, a person came to see me on her way back from the cemetery where she had been on a pilgrimage. She told me that she was amazed at what she had seen: "When I arrived at the tomb of Sr Thérèse de l 'EJ, there were about ten men; among them, there were four soldiers, all prayed with great devotion, I thought I was in Lourdes, these men seemed so fervent and without human respect, but there was one especially who edified me more than the others, he said his rosary with great piety, it was really touching to see him. A few moments later I saw him bend down, take some earth and eat it in front of all his companions! " Oh my sister, she said to me, you cannot imagine the faith and confidence with which people pray at the tomb of your little saint.
Almost every day at recreation, Our Mother reads us letters from the soldiers who are to be fought at the front, truly remarkable protective traits of the Servant of God.
DISEASE
I know nothing about the Servant of God's illness, except that she suffered a real martyrdom; the community did not go to see her because of her great weakness, and that she could not hear the slightest noise; but as I was his little novice, I still had this joy but very rarely.
The last weeks of her life, being in the kitchen, I was given the consolation of going there a little more often, which allowed me to edify myself further with my holy Mistress.
Although she was very ill, she did not forget my birthday, July 29, the day before she received Extreme Unction, she gave me a little picture with a little note.
I did not attend the agony of the servant of God either, but I was present when, at the moment of breathing her last, she opened her eyes, and fixed them for a few moments on something invisible. .....
FRAGRANCES
One evening, in the month of October, I was during Compline carrying a basket to the lingerie;
passing in front of her baby Jesus, near the Oratory, I was suffocated by a very strong heliotrope perfume, I did not notice it at first, but passing again shortly after by the same path, the sweet perfume lasted always, with such force that I began to look for where this sweet smell could come from, it seemed that the end of the cloister from the baby Jesus to the Blessed Virgin was strewn with it!
I look everywhere, first at little Jesus then at the Oratory, I can't see anything! not being able to understand where this delicious smell came from, which lasted all the time of Compline, I went to look for our Mother, who was then Mother Marie-Ange, and I told her to come and see for herself the perfume that I had been smelling for more than a quarter of an hour. She came there, and smelled the same odor as me, she immediately thought of Sr Thérèse of the EJ, and the perfume disappeared immediately. But the next day, I learned from Mother Agnès of Jesus that she had been very impressed: it was the first time that our little saint had shown herself to us in this way.
Another time, they came to fetch me to go to a disabled sister and it cost me a lot, but despite the repugnance I felt, I went there joyfully, and the memory of my little Thérèse leading my Sr St Pierre came back to me. to thought; on arriving at the door of the cell of the crippled Sister, I was seized by a very sweet and very accentuated perfume of violets, her very cell was all perfumed with it. I thought it was our little saint who was doing me this favor to show me how happy Jesus is with the little sacrifices we make for his love.
During a retreat, she sent me this delightful note:
My darling little sister, don't be afraid to tell Jesus that you love him, even without feeling it, it's the way to force him to help you, to carry you like a little child too weak to walk. It's a great test to see everything in darkness, but it doesn't completely depend on you, do everything you can to detach your heart from the worries of the earth and especially from creatures, then be sure that Jesus will do the rest, he will not allow you to fall back into the dreaded abyss. Take comfort, dear little sister in heaven, you will no longer see everything in black, but everything in white. Yes, everything will be clothed in the divine whiteness of our Spouse, the lily of the valleys. Together we will follow him wherever he goes.... Ah! let's take advantage of the short moment of life....Together let's please Jesus, let's save many souls for him by our small sacrifices...especially let's be small so small that everyone can trample us underfoot, without even having seems to feel it and to suffer from it. I'm not surprised at the little child's defeats, but how naughty it is to spend your time moping around instead of falling asleep on the heart of Jesus!
The novices considered the servant of God to be a saint. Sr. Marie-Madeleine herself, who refused to go with her, said that she was too holy and that she guessed everything that was going on in her soul. She was running away from her so as not to go home. However, the servant of God did everything she could to do her good, she went to look for her when she was hiding until she found her. She even told our Mother on her deathbed that when she was in heaven, she would protect her and love her like the other novices.
Written under my dictation
Sr Martha of Jesus thank you
