Thérèse was born on January 2, 1873 and was baptized on January 4. I was chosen to be her godmother. A few months later, she was the object of special protection
Souls in Purgatory to whom my mother entrusted her every morning before going to mass at 5:XNUMX a.m., where my Father always accompanied her.
But one day, they found the little one out of her crib. My mother was anxiously looking for her when she saw her sitting on a chair, her head resting on the pillow of her bed. She could not understand how she could have been carried there, and saw in this circumstance that the child must have been the object of visible protection from her Guardian Angel, or from the souls of Purgatory, to whom as I have said , my mother had a special devotion.
From the age of two, one noticed in her an intelligence above her age. My mother wrote: “This child has an extraordinary intelligence, such as I have never seen in any of you. “It was not necessary to scold her when she was in default, it was enough to tell her that it was not good, or that it hurt God. One day, I surprised her at the door of my room, where she wanted to enter, but being too small to open, she found no other way to show her despair than to roll on the ground. She was then 18 months old; I simply said to her: “my little Thérèse, you mustn't do that, it hurts God. She never did it again. Small as she was, she wanted to attend the lessons I was giving to Celine, and already had enough control over herself not to say a single word during the two hours the lesson lasted. To occupy her, I gave her beads to thread, and if her little work happened to be interrupted by any accident.
She didn't complain about it, but silently shed big tears that she tried to hide so as not to distract her sister (from the lesson). She was extraordinarily frank, my mother still wrote: "The little wouldn't lie for all the gold in the world. One day she said to the maid who was telling joyful little lies: “You know very well, Victoire, that this offends the Good Lord. "The lesson bore fruit, the maid was so surprised to see herself taken over by such a young child) she needed to accuse herself of her slightest faults and immediately ran to my mother saying: Mom, I pushed Céline once, I beat her once, but I won't do it again. ". Soon she began to count her little acts of virtue on a rosary made expressly for the occasion. So, we heard more talk than practices! A neighbor said one day to the maid: “What does this little girl mean? When she plays in the garden with her sister, it's a practical debate! I'm trying to figure out what that means? “At that age, her practices were to give in to Celine in many circumstances, because she already had a strong will and when she said no, nothing could make her give in. My Mother wrote again: “Here are the two little ones having fun playing the cube game together. This poor baby flew into terrible rages when things didn't go his way.” It was then that Thérèse found the opportunity to use her rosary of practices. Her gaze had such an angelic expression in her eyes that one never tired of hearing her recite these lines: “Little child with a blond head, where do you think the Good Lord is? When she replied – He is Up there in the blue sky…”
We felt that she understood what she was saying, her gaze was so heavenly!
(my mother told us: Thérèse always has a smile on her lips, she has the face of a predestined one; she wrote speaking of Thérèse at four years old: this child only likes to talk about the good Lord, she will not miss anything to say her prayers. When my mother died, the ceremony of Extreme Unction was deeply imprinted on her soul. I can still see, she said, the place where I was made to kneel. I spoke to no one about the deep feelings which filled my heart, I watched and I listened in silence. Later in Carmel, she said to me, recalling that time of her very early childhood: "I seem to me that I was judging things like today. It seems to me that extraordinary indeed: at the time of my mother's death. There was no time to take care of her and she was not trying to attract attention either. But I was very careful of him. ask what she was thinking, so as not to further develop the deep feelings of which she speaks and which I noticed on his physiognomy. I thought she was too advanced for her age.
Around the age of six, Thérèse saw in a prophetic vision the ordeal that awaited our good Father. I was in a room near the one where she was when I heard her call in a trembling voice: Dad! Dad !
I understood that something supernatural was happening there, because my Father had been absent for several days, she herself recounts this strange fact (ch XI - H. of a soul) but it was not until much later in the carmel that the good Lord enlightened us completely on this vision: here is what she writes on this subject: Very often, my imagination represents to me the mysterious scene that I had seen... very often, I tried to raise the a veil which hid its meaning from me, for I kept in the bottom of my heart the intimate conviction of it, this vision had a meaning which was to be revealed to me one day. This day has been long overdue, but after 14 years the Good Lord has himself torn the mysterious veil....
Being in license with Sr. Marie of the Sacred Heart, we were talking as always about things from the other life and our childhood memories, when I reminded her of the vision I had had at the age of 7; suddenly, while relating the details of this strange scene, we understood at the same time what it meant. It was indeed Papa whom I had seen bent over with age, it was indeed him, bearing on his venerable face, on his whitened head, the sign of his glorious ordeal.
Like the adorable Face of Jesus which was veiled during his Passion, so the face of his faithful servant had to be veiled in the days of his sorrows in order to be able to shine in the heavenly homeland with his Lord. It is from the womb of this ineffable glory that our dear Father obtained for us the grace to understand the vision that his little Queen had had, at an age when illusion is not to be feared. It was from the bosom of glory that he obtained for us this sweet consolation of understanding that ten years before our great ordeal, the good Lord was already showing it to us as a Father gives his children a glimpse of the glorious future he is giving them. prepares and takes pleasure in considering in advance the priceless riches which must be their share....
STRANGE DISEASE
Around the age of 10, Thérèse was stricken with a strange illness, an illness that certainly came from the devil, who, as she herself says in her manuscript, had received an external power over her. Here is what she writes:
“I believe that the demon had received an external power over me, but that he could not approach my soul, nor my spirit, except to inspire me with very great fears. He wanted revenge on me for the wrong that our family would do to him in the future, but he did not know that the sweet Queen of Heaven was watching over his fragile little flower and was about to stop the storm when his flower had to shatter irretrievably. »
She says that during this illness, she did not lose her reason for a moment. Indeed, I never heard her say a word that didn't make sense, and she was never delirious for a moment. But she had terrifying visions that chilled anyone who heard those cries of distress. One day when the doctor was present during one of these crises, he said to my Father: science is powerless in the face of these phenomena, there is nothing to be done Some nails attached to the walls of his room suddenly appeared to him in the form of big charred fingers, and she cried out, "I'm scared! I am scared ! Oh the big black fingers, they threaten me. His eyes, so calm and so gentle, had an expression of horror impossible to describe.
Another time, my Father came and sat by his bed, he was holding his hat in his hand. Thérèse looked at him without saying a single word, for she spoke very little during her illness. Then as always, in the blink of an eye her expression changed. What did she see? Her eyes fixed on the hat and she uttered a mournful cry: “Oh the big black beast! These cries had something supernatural about them, you have to have heard them to get an idea of them. My father got up immediately and left crying, then he said to me: "my poor little girl is crazy, she no longer recognizes me!" say what I thought of it for fear of increasing his pain, for it seemed to me that the story of the holy man Job was that of my venerable Father, and that Satan had received the power to overwhelm him with evils in order to test his faith.
I can say that the demon even tried to kill our little sister. Her bed was placed in a large alcove, and at the head and the feet there was a very large empty space where she tried to rush. It even happened to her several times, and I wonder how she didn't smash her head on the pavement, but she didn't have a scratch. Often I managed to stop him, not without difficulty, because I felt an extraordinary force which carried him away in spite of myself. Seeing this, I acted out of trickery, I pretended to have no fear of seeing her fall.
So she kept quiet, but if I showed the slightest fear, she would start all over again. She looked at me questioningly to see if I was afraid; there was an incredible perspicacity in that look, I felt the presence of a spirit other than his own. It was in these and other similar symptoms that I clearly saw a diabolical action, for it was not this child so sweet, so obedient who could have acted thus, she who feared nothing so much as to make us pain. Other times, she banged her head violently against the arm of the bed. Sometimes still, she wanted to talk to me, and no sound was heard, she only articulated the words, without being able to pronounce them. Another day, I thought I would have to watch her die of hunger. Her teeth were so clenched that it was impossible for her to open her mouth. Luckily he was missing a tooth, and I always say, resorting to my usual cunning: “Oh! it doesn't worry me anymore that your teeth are clenched, I could feed you broth through that little hole there! Immediately the teeth loosened.
But the most terrible crisis was the one she talks about in her life. I thought she was going to succumb to it and that this hour which preceded the vision of the Blessed Virgin was the last. Seeing her exhausted in this painful struggle, I wanted to give her something to drink, but she cried out in terror: "They want to kill me!" They want to poison me! It was then that I threw myself with my sisters at the feet of the Blessed Virgin, imploring her to have pity on us. But the sky seemed deaf to our pleas. Three times I renewed the same prayer. The third time I saw Thérèse renew. The third time, I saw Thérèse fix the statue of the Blessed Virgin, her gaze was irradiated, as if in ecstasy. I understood that she was saved, that she saw not the image of Mary but the Blessed Virgin herself. This vision seemed to me to last four or five minutes, then two large tears fell from her eyes, and her soft, limpid gaze fixed on me with tenderness. I was not mistaken, Thérèse was cured. When I was alone with her, I asked her why she had cried. She hesitated to confide her secret to me, but seeing that I had guessed it, she said to me: "It's because I didn't see her anymore!" »
1st Communion
Thérèse made her First Communion on May 8, 1884. She suffered greatly from the waiting that was imposed on her, she could not understand this law which seemed to her so severe to be delayed for a year, for only two days, because she was born, she said, two days too late.
One day, we met Bishop Hugonin who was going to the station: “O Mary, she said to me, do you want me to go and ask her permission to make my first Communion! I had great difficulty in restraining her. Despite her natural shyness, she would have braved all obstacles to see her wish fulfilled. She couldn't understand why the children were left for so long without allowing them to receive the Good Lord. When I told her that in the early days of Christianity, very small children received the Holy Eucharist after their baptism, she showed great admiration, but also great regret at not having been able to enjoy the same privilege: "Why would I she said, isn't it like that anymore?
At Christmas, seeing us go to midnight mass, and her staying at home because she was too small, she still said to me: "If you wanted to take me with you, I would go to Communion too, I slip through the crowd you wouldn't notice! Could I do this? and she was very sad when I told her it was impossible.
This love for the Holy Eucharist was one of the characteristic traits of his piety. Later in Carmel, her great suffering was not to take communion every day. She said some time before her death to Mother Marie de Gonzague who was afraid of daily Communion: “My mother, when I am in heaven, “I will make you change your mind. This is what happened: after his death, the chaplain who succeeded Father Youf gave us Holy Communion every day, and Mother Marie de Gonzague, instead of revolting as before, was very happy.
I come back to Thérèse's First Communion, she prepared for it with extraordinary fervor...
Her great sorrow was to be delayed for a year, being born on the 2nd of January, she had to wait for these two days for a whole year, and she could not understand such a severe law. Her desire was so great to make her first communion that she asked me one day when we met Bishop Hugonin, who was going to the station, for permission to implore his grace from him. She prepared for her First Communion with extraordinary fervor, daily performing numerous acts of virtue which she marked in a special little book. I had also given her a little sheet on "renunciation" which she meditated with delight, she was then ten years old. This immediate preparation lasted three months, but for a long time as she writes, she had been preparing this beautiful day for Celine's First Communion, she wanted to hear the exhortations that were made to her, and when they told her to go away because that she was too young, she testified to a real sorrow, saying that it was not too long for 4 years to prepare to receive the Good Lord. Also when it comes to her first Communion, she eagerly listened to my advice. In his gaze there was a holy enthusiasm. one felt that his soul aspired with all his might to unite with Jesus. On the day of her first communion, I seemed to see an angel rather than a mortal creature.
At that time, she asked me to do half an hour of prayer every day; I didn't want to give it to her So she asked me for only a quarter of an hour. I didn't allow it either: I found her so pious and understanding in such a lofty way the things of heaven, that it frightened me, so to speak. I did not want to develop his piety, finding it already too developed and fearing that the good Lord would take it too quickly for Himself.
During her Second Communion retreat, Thérèse saw herself assailed by the disease of scruples. It was especially on the eve of her confessions that they redoubled, she came to tell me all her alleged sins, although it cost her a lot. I tried to heal her by telling her that I took her sins upon me, which weren't even imperfections, and I only allowed her to blame two or three that I pointed out to her. She was so obedient that she followed my advice to the letter. Here is what she wrote about it in her manuscript:
“Mary was, so to speak, indispensable to me; I only told her my scruples, and I was so obedient that my confessor never knew about my nasty illness, I just told him the number of sins that Mary had allowed me to confess, not one more, also I could have passed for the least scrupulous soul, despite the fact that I was one to the last degree. She was delivered from her sorrows by prayer; it was through her brothers and sisters who had preceded her up there that she addressed herself, and soon peace again came to flood her soul. “When Marie entered the Carmel, (she said) I was still very scrupulous. No longer able to confide in her, I turned to Heaven. It was to the four little angels who had preceded me up there that I addressed myself because I thought that these innocent souls, having never known troubles or fear, should have pity on their poor little sister who was suffering on Earth.
I spoke to them with the simplicity of a child, pointing out to them that being the last of the family, I had always been the most loved, the most filled with tenderness from my sisters. Their departure for heaven did not seem to me a reason to forget me, on the contrary, that if they had remained on earth, they would no doubt also have given me proofs of affection. Their departure for heaven did not seem to me a reason to forget myself, on the contrary, finding themselves in a position to draw from the divine treasures, they were to take peace for me there and thus show me that in heaven we still know how to love. . The answer was not long in coming, soon peace came to flood my soul with its delicious waves, and I understood that if I was loved on earth I was also loved in heaven.
Since that moment, my devotion to my little brothers and sisters has grown and I like to talk to them often, to talk to them about the sadness of exile, about my desire to go and join them soon in the homeland.
When Thérèse in her turn wanted to enter the Carmel, she only found support in Mother Agnès of Jesus. I was so sad to see her leave my Father so soon that I would gladly have put obstacles in the way of her entry. But as my conscience would have reproached me for my conduct, I confined myself to saying nothing against this project, that was all I could do. My uncle was also fighting on his side and the Superior put up complete opposition. But nothing made her change her resolution, and her courage seemed to me many times pushed to the point of heroism. this fourteen year old child.
RELIGIOUS LIFE
From her postulancy, Thérèse of the Child Jesus had for daily bread only a bitter dryness. Moreover, she found no support from her Mother Prioress. This one was used to being caressed and adulated by everyone, and as Sr Thérèse of the EJ never sought herself out, and could not satisfy herself on any occasion, she passed unnoticed, or rather we had for her only the coldness. However, it was not without effort that she passed in front of our Mother's cell without wanting to enter it. Seeing that she never had the shadow of a joy, I felt sorry for it and, one day when we passed together in front of her cell, I made a sign to her to come in with me. But she quickly descended the stairs so as not to succumb to the temptation to seek herself out in anything.
Our Mother did not disapprove of his conduct, no doubt by his words, but by his actions. She showed no sympathy for the young postulant, often scolding her, or paying no attention to her.
One day, on the order of the mistress of novices, Sr Thérèse of the EJ went to the garden to weed, which cost her a lot. Our Mother met her, and said to her mistress with an air of displeasure: “What is a novice that you have to send out for a walk every day? “I looked at Sr Thérèse of the Child Jesus, wondering if she was not going to apologize, and say that she was going to the garden to work there.... but she only replied with a smile full of sweetness. . In the rare directions she had with our Mother, she was still scolded almost all the time, and left with a broken heart. Even during her retreats, she found no support, she was deprived of all consolation both from heaven and from earth. She was still only a postulant when she wrote to me: "The poor lamb
can't say anything to Jesus, and above all Jesus says absolutely nothing to him! Pray for him, so that his retirement pleases all the same, the Heart of him who alone reads the depths of the soul. ! Why seek happiness on earth? I confess to you that my heart has a burning thirst for it, but it clearly sees this poor heart, that no creature is capable of quenching its thirst, on the contrary, the more it drinks from this enchanted spring, the more its thirst becomes ardent. I know another source, it is the one where after drinking, one is still thirsty, but with a thirst that is not panting, which is on the contrary very sweet, because it has something to satisfy. This source is the known suffering of Jesus alone.
WAS
Sr. Thérèse of the Child Jesus had an ardent faith which she testified from her childhood through her love for the Holy Eucharist. After her First Communion, she only longed for the moment when she could receive Our Lord for the second time. She dared to solicit this Communion so desired, and the day of the Ascension was that of her second Communion. I remember his attitude so collected especially the angelic expression of his face. St. Paul's words: “It is no longer I who live, it is Jesus who lives in me” kept coming back to his mind. Her faith showed itself again in the trials which she looked upon as graces. At the time of my Father's illness she wrote to me: “Jesus came to visit us...... He found us worthy to pass through the crucible of suffering... What joy awaits us in heaven for a moment of suffering.....
It is the Lord who did this. and the Lord loves Papa incomparably better than we loved him, Papa, he is the little child of the Good Lord. The Good Lord, to spare him great suffering, wants us to suffer for him. It is up to us to thank him. And she asked our Mother to have Masses said, telling us that it was the time of her Purgatory (This last sentence is crossed out)
This great trial of our Father's illness, she put it among the days of grace of her life, marking the precise date, and underlining it with these words: "our great wealth" her faith making her look at the trials like graces.
His faith is also manifested in inner trials. During her professional retreat, 7th 1890, she wrote to me: “I assure you that your little girl hardly understands the celestial harmonies. Her honeymoon is very dry. Her betrothed, it is true, takes her through fertile and magnificent countries, but the night prevents her from admiring anything, and above all from enjoying all these marvels.
You will perhaps believe that she is distressed by it? But no, on the contrary, she is happy to follow her fiancé because of HIM's love alone, and not because of his gifts... He alone is so beautiful, so ravishing, even when he is silent. ...even when he hides..... Understand your little girl... She is tired of the consolations of the earth, she only wants her Beloved all alone......”
She still had a great spirit of faith towards her Superiors. A month before her death, she passed through a most painful crisis, without it being possible to find any relief for her. The doctor of the Community being on vacation, we asked our Mother Prioress to bring in Dr. La Néele, but she flatly refused. She was a prey to the most cruel tortures without any relief. When we complained about this way of acting, this angel of peace told us: “My little sisters, you must not murmur against the will of the Good Lord, it is He who allows our Mother not to give me relief.
EPERANCE
I had asked Sr Thérèse of the Child Jesus to write to me what I called her little way of trust and love; after having asked permission from Our Mother, she did so during her last retreat, in the month of September 1896. This letter is now part of manuscript B....After having read these glowing pages, I told her that these desires of the martyrdom were the mark of his love, and which it was impossible for me to reach so high. It was then that she wrote me the letter of September 17, 1896, also printed in the story of a soul (p.351) and in which she said to me: "How can you ask me if you is it possible to love the Good Lord as I love Him? My desires for martyrdom are nothing, they are not what gives me the unlimited confidence that I feel in my heart. Ah! I feel very well that it is not that above all that pleases the Good Lord in my little soul, what pleases Him is to see me love my littleness and my poverty, it is the blind hope that I I have in his mercy, this is my only treasure.
Oh no ! I do not fear a long life she writes again, (ch IX p161) I do not refuse the fight, the Lord is the rock on which I am raised, he is my shield, I hope in Him. »
(Here I spend two large pages numbered 13bis, copies of the Story of a soul, ch XI p.216 and following)
CHARITY FOR GOD
Sr Thérèse of the Child Jesus loved God with an ardent love and thought of Him constantly. One day I said to him: How do you manage to always think of the Good Lord? “It's not difficult, she replied, we naturally think of Someone we love” - So, you never lose his presence? – Oh no, I don't think I've ever been three minutes without being united to Him.
From the tenderest age, she had become accustomed to this life of union. Recalling her memories from five to six years ago, she said: "Growing up, I loved the Good Lord more and more and I very often gave Him my heart, using the formula that my Mother had taught me, I strove to please Jesus in all my actions, and I was very careful never to offend him.
His love for God was pure and selfless. A few weeks before her death, she told me this confidence: “If the Good Lord said to me: If you die immediately, you will have great glory. If you die at 80, your glory will be very great, but it will give me much more pleasure ..... so I would not hesitate to answer: "my God, I want to die at 80, because I do not seek not my glory but only your pleasure. »
The great Saints worked for the glory of the Good Lord, she added, but I who am only a very small soul, I work for his sole pleasure, and I would be happy to bear the greatest sufferings even without the Good God don't know, if it were possible, not in order to give him temporary glory, but if I only knew that thereby a smile could touch his lips. I don't mind being sick all my life, if it pleases God.
She wrote a few months before her death, and I even consent to my life being very long. The only grace I want is for her to be completely broken by love.
CHARITY TOWARDS THE NEIGHBOR
From her earliest years, Thérèse loved to give alms to the poor. Then there was a tender and respectful expression on her face, one felt that it was Our Lord whom she saw in her suffering members.
At the age of 10, she asked to go and look after a poor woman who was dying, and had no one to assist her; she also wanted to take provisions and clothes to another, laden with children, who inspired her with special compassion. When she could not relieve them, she gave them the alms of her prayers. One day, being out for a walk with my Father, she met a crippled old man and approached to give him a small coin, but the latter, not finding himself poor enough to receive alms, refused it. So Thérèse, very sad to have humiliated the one she wanted to relieve, consoled herself with the thought that she would pray for him on the day of his First Communion, having heard that on that day, everything was obtained from the Good Lord;
And five years later, she faithfully kept her resolution.
In the Carmel, she preferably sought during recreation, the company of those who seemed the most neglected. Her companion in the novitiate was a young lay sister with a very difficult character who was jealous of her virtue. She always had a few points to throw at Sr Thérèse of the Child Jesus. But this one did not move away from it for that, on the contrary, it was most often near her that she was going to sit and she used so much sweetness and kindness, that she won the heart of his companion and had a great influence over her.
Her charity led her to ask to be a helper in the lingerie of a sister of a character
such that no one wanted his company. This sister had dark thoughts and did almost nothing. I saw her when Sr Thérèse of the Child Jesus was already ill, coming to ask her for all the linen for the week that she had given her to mend; and as Sr Thérèse of the Child Jesus had not been able to completely complete her task, this sister, instead of expressing her gratitude for what she had done, being so ill, addressed reproaches to her which were welcomed as praise. This poor, unhappy sister was indeed the object of the tender compassion of Sr. Thérèse of the Child Jesus. One day when I entrusted her with all the fights she gave me, she said to me: “Ah, if you only knew how to forgive her! As she is pitiable, it is not her fault if she is so badly endowed. It's like a poor clock that you have to wind up every quarter of an hour, yes, it's as bad as that ........well, won't you pity it? Oh how we must practice charity towards our neighbour! »
(I) There was a sister in the infirmary who exercised patience a lot because of her many quirks. Unable to work, she asked to distract herself that the nurse spend an hour with her every day. As we witnessed the boredom of keeping her company, Sr Thérèse of the Child Jesus said to us, “How happy I would have been if someone had asked me that! It might have cost me according to nature, but it seems to me that I would have done it with so much love, because I think of what Our Lord says "I was sick and you relieved me"
I often spent my breaks in the infirmary near her bed of suffering, and I told her one day that with another patient it would cost me a lot to lose the breaks, while with her it was a great consolation for me. . She resumed immediately: "And I would have experienced such great happiness!" Since we are on earth to suffer, the more we suffer the happier we are. We practice much more charity with a person who is less sympathetic to you; Ah! That we don't know how to arrange our little business on earth
She practiced charity in a heroic way, towards the lay sister of whom she speaks in chapter ten of her life, page 193. This poor sister was of a very abrupt character and without education, one trembled with impatience just at touch her. So when I saw Sr Thérèse of the Child Jesus during her novitiate bothering with prayer to take her to the refectory, I admired her virtue, which I found heroic, because she did it with so much grace that it required a true courage to show him such sweet and compassionate charity
Her charity made her forget herself in all circumstances; during the three months that she remained in the infirmary, she could not bear to have a single night spent for her. Even on the eve of her death, she begged to be left alone, so as not to cause fatigue.
In all his actions one saw this virtue of charity shine. To obey the nurse, she took a quarter of an hour walk in the garden every day.
