« I do not attach importance to my dreams, moreover I rarely have symbolic ones wrote Thérèse at the end of 1895 (Ms A, 79 r°).
1. Deprived of the sight of God.
(Marie‑Louise Castel was thirteen or fourteen at the time.)
Around the same time, the good Lord also used a dream to make me understand the sufferings of purgatory. I had no fear of it and I even said to myself: "I wouldn't care if I stayed there until the end of the world, since I would be sure afterwards of having an eternity of enjoyment." Now, one night I dreamed that I had just died. Immediately I appeared before the good Lord. At the sight of her, my heart ignited with such love that it seemed to me that eternity would not be long enough to contemplate such ravishing beauty. But the good Lord said to me: “Yes, you must stay with me forever, but first you have to do eight days of purgatory.” I was delighted!... “It won't be long, I thought, I really believed that my sins deserved more, I got out of it all the same at little cost! »
My purgatory was to consist of simply being deprived of the sight of God, without any further suffering. I therefore found myself relegated to the bottom of a wide and deep ditch; the memory of the good Lord whom I had seen so beautiful never left me, I would gladly have endured all imaginable torture to see him again, if only for a second. I always tried to climb to the top of the ditch, but I constantly fell back and gave myself unnecessary fatigue. Time seemed to never end! “Oh! of course I've been forgotten, I said, I've been here for many years already, and they don't come to deliver me! I then saw an Angel who came to look for one of my companions in misfortune. Immediately I said to him: “And me? Angel of God, take me away, I have been forgotten, I had only eight days of purgatory and I have been there for almost a century. He smiled sadly, and looking at me with compassion, he said to me: “A century! it's not only an hour since the good Lord put you there! I was appalled, my eight days seemed like an eternity to me, it seemed to me that I could never wait so long. My pain was so great that I suddenly woke up...
Ah! Since that dream, the souls in purgatory have shown me deep pity, I sympathize with their suffering as if I had experienced them myself. I now have such a fear of this place of expiation that I often ask the good Lord for the grace to make me suffer here below all he wants on the condition of enjoying Him immediately after my death, without any delay. .
2. You still have a lot to suffer.
In the month of June 1903, I saw Sr. Th. of the EJ in a dream—“Oh! my darling little sister, I cried, are you finally coming to fetch me? "She looked at me deeply and said with a soft smile: 'No, not yet. "- " Why is that ? I replied quickly, but it seems to me that I have already suffered a lot! — "Yes," she said to me, "you have already suffered a great deal, but you still have much to suffer.... but don't worry, it is necessary... you will see that you do not care." don't repent...' Then she kissed me and disappeared.
I awoke with a heavy heart of painful presentiments which were not long in being carried out.... It was a terrible deluge of tests which fell on my family. Ruin, humiliation, dishonor were his share... In the midst of so many calamities, this prophetic dream comforted me, encouraged me.
Now I have seen and understood the necessity of such a violent storm and my heart sings to the good Lord the hymn of gratitude.
3. She's the one I liked the most.
(We do not know the date of the dream.)
I had another dream, but this one was very sweet! I was with my little sister Thérèse, our two souls merged in an intimate and heavenly conversation, my head was leaning on her heart and she showed me a lot of affection.
One of our sisters arriving then wanted to take her away, but she said to her: "Please, leave me again with my Sr. Marie de la Trinité, I experience a lot of happiness with her, she is the loved the most on earth with my family. »
4. Diamonds in the desert.
All that remains for me now, dear Mother, is to tell you about the dream I had four months ago (May 1904), and which still leaves me under the very vivid impression of a particular grace.
I was with my sister Geneviève in the great Sahara desert, we had to return to France but first we wanted to bring back some curiosities from this great desert. We found ourselves walking barefoot across a vast plain whose sand was filled with sharp pebbles. It was a plain renowned for the wealth of diamonds that were discovered there. Sister Geneviève walked with an alert step on these sharp stones, she searched with ardor under all the stones that she encountered and thus picked up many small diamonds. As for me, I had stayed away, watching her do it, and wondering how it could be that she walked barefoot like this without hurting herself, because as soon as I tried to do as she did, the pebbles bloodied my legs. feet and caused me intolerable pain; also, I said to myself: "What is the use of collecting these treasures if I cripple myself for life?" I'd rather have nothing! »
Sister Geneviève, noticing that I was lagging behind, came back to me and said: "You absolutely have to hurry, it's an opportunity we'll never have, come on, do like me very quickly, too bad if you suffer, we will take care of you afterwards! By telling me this she took me with her and taught me how to discover precious stones. I suffered unspeakably, each step was for me a real torture, but I went all the same and reaped a rich harvest. I hadn't been walking like this for five minutes when I discovered an enormous diamond under a stone, as big as a hand and shining like the sun, I couldn't stand the sight of it, it was so dazzling. I quickly hid it in my apron, saying to myself: "My fortune is made now, I'm not looking for another, in the whole universe you won't find the like!..." I was so suffocated by the joy of such a rich discovery that I woke up.
I did not immediately know the meaning of this dream. A few days later I was put in the infirmary. I had no sooner settled into my new job than my soul found itself in an arid desert, everything was extremely difficult for me, I was obliged at every moment to raise my courage to fulfill my duties as a nurse. I was ashamed of myself, seeing my other Sisters accomplish with ease virtues, simple in themselves, but which seemed like mountains to me.
I only encountered difficulties without number, the violence that I used to overcome them was such that in all my religious life, I do not remember having suffered so much; moreover, I experienced extreme physical fatigue, more particularly I suffered from such great weakness in the legs that I could hardly stand up, and when I walked I felt pains under my feet as unbearable as if I would have walked barefoot on pebbles. One day the pains I felt were so similar to those of my dream that I immediately understood its full meaning. Was I not, in fact, by my state of mind, in this great desert of the Sahara which contained precious diamonds, that is to say countless merits, to acquire them, had I not not a thousand difficulties to overcome, like those of my dream? Wasn't I surprised and confused to see others walk with ease where I couldn't step? Finally, the so beautiful diamond that I had discovered was none other than the patient who was entrusted to me and whose care requires so much self-denial and devotion.
All these thoughts were for me a flash of bright light, a powerful grace that encourages me to walk at all costs until death, in this fertile desert where God has placed me to harvest the precious stones that are sown there. in abundance. Then, with jealous care, I want to keep and carefully hide, even at the cost of my life, the beautiful diamond that I discovered there until the moment when the good Lord will claim it from me.
(The sister involved has not been identified)
5. The price of a life of faith.
A novena had been made to Sister Thérèse of the Child Jesus which was to end on September 30, the anniversary of her death, to ask her for the miracle of the healing of Sister Marie of the Eucharist. The night following the first day of the novena I dreamed that Sr. Marie of the Eucharist was dying, and before she breathed her last, she said to our Mother who was crying: "Don't worry, my little Mother, but be sure that if you hear little Thérèse's voice as soon as I am dead, it is a sign that I will have gone straight to Heaven. After these words, she expired.
At the same time, looking out the window, I saw her light and joyful like a captive freed from her chains, quickly crossing the path of a beautiful garden, then I heard the voice of little Thérèse saying with a melodious accent: " Rejoice, she is happy forever with me in Heaven! I immediately went towards the direction where the voice came from and after having climbed a large staircase, I saw my little sister Thérèse of the Child Jesus tenderly pressing my Sister Marie of the Eucharist to her heart. My joy had no bounds! I said to him: “When will it be my turn? and I, will I also go straight to Heaven? Oh ! that I would like to know if I am pleasing to the good Lord? »
She didn't say a word, but smiled, looking at me for a long time, and in that deep gaze I read everything she was thinking. It is as if she had said to me: "I cannot answer your questions because I would deprive you of the merit of your faith, but understand from what you have just seen... As long as my Sr Marie de l 'Eucharist has been on earth, what has not been its life of faith! You cannot imagine what were her fears, her anxieties of all kinds, believing herself at times to have been rejected by God, it seemed to her that she was doing nothing and that her sufferings were useless; and yet, it is this state which gave her so many merits and which purified her as you see. Why worry about yourself, be discouraged by your weaknesses, since you see that despite the imperfections that could be blamed on her, that did not prevent her from going straight to Heaven. Yes, unbeknownst to her, her faults were greatly redeemed by this continual state of suffering, this painful deprivation of feelings, of spiritual consolations, and they were even the cause of this eternal joy which she enjoys at this moment. »
I woke up under the impression of this dream which remained like a grace for my soul, making me appreciate more the merit that we have of loving Jesus in the night of faith.
(October 1904)
