66 short notes, from 1905 to 1943
1. May 1905.
Beloved little Mother, I found the beautiful passage from the Acts of the Apostles where St Paul said to the Athenians “that man seeks God and strives to find him as if by groping. » Acts 17, 27 So I thought that we were poor blind people who grope about works of light. Ah! how surprising that they are so defective! I'm even surprised that we don't do more nonsense working in such an opaque body!... This is indeed the reason why the good Lord is so indulgent towards us and why He is even so touched by our trial and error, our poor efforts to find it. Be sure that He will judge our actions as having been done by poor blind people, which will make them look like marvels!...
Your little girl who, despite her doll-like language [We will often find, in this series of posts, the appellation of “doll ·, a nickname that Thérèse had one day given to her novice, because of her childish appearance; see LT 236 and 249; CJ 22.9.4; CSM n° 56 (cited in VT n° 77)] knows how to make herself understood by the most beloved of little Mothers.
2. June 16, 1905
2 - My little Mother [Mother Agnès was re-elected prioress on the previous May 6, and was then in deep retirement. She takes advantage of these days of meditation to write her first autobiographical notebook; she will destroy it in 1932, after having copied only a few extracts (cf. DE, p.65). Marie de la Trinité, for her part, is now 11 years old from Carmel (in Lisieux)],
Eleven years ago today you first held me in your arms, received me and adopted me with so much charity and love. Since that time my gratitude and my affection for you have grown every day, I end up believing that if this continues, I will attain the same strength to love as the good Lord. I sometimes wonder how He can love you more than me, because after all, if He gives you more marks of love, it is only because He has the means and He is more powerful.. .
How much your little note, dear Mother, did me good and above all pleasure! Yes, but... you must understand that it is easier to embarrass yourself in order to please your little Mother whom you see and love, than to work for her perfection, something so arduous and so costly. ; the proof is that since the time that I have been working on it seriously and diligently, I have not yet arrived there and even I do not see that I have made even a little progress. No, transforming a writing desk in no time to please my little Mother, it's a game, a real pleasure; but to transform myself, I can see that I will never succeed, it will be the work of the good Lord, all alone with the help of little Thérèse. All that is in my power is to let myself be, to always lift my little foot to try to climb the stairs, to throw my helpless cries at the good God, to stretch out my little arms to him, until that, filled with pity, He Himself descends to take me with Him forever and put me back in the arms of little Thérèse, the place that her doll should have.
Violette announces a little bonus for my birthday and as you allowed me to buy a Crampon, I told my sister Marie-Ange to have her brother bring it to me; this will avoid a port. Did I do well? [Clarifications: Violette Castel, one of Marie de la Trinité's sisters, offers her a birthday present (Sainte Trinité, June 18). The Carmelite asks for “a Crampon”, no doubt a New Testament. Father Burban, brother of the young sister MarieAnge, will act as intermediary for his next trip to Lisieux]
I will try to find you more good food in St J. Chrysostome, you need it to, after that, feed all your children of which I am one of the greediest, but all the same not as much as the big Geneviève who would devour well her part and that of the others if we let her. The "fat Geneviève" (who would be very humiliated by the qualifier) tries to "regain a little" the affection of her sister—who was never very lavish with her in Carmel—: these data emerge from the correspondence of SO].
Your granddaughter Marie de la Trinité
3. June 18, 1905.
My beloved little Mother, I have no luck today for my birthday. This morning, instead of going to sing the Holy Trinity with you, I had to witness the terrible grimaces and contortions of my Sr. blood is very advanced, his paralysis is even already affecting the brain", and many other ailments too long to list... In fact, it is very probable that the good old sister Saint Stanislas (81 years old; will live another nine years) was that "beautiful diamond" which Marie de la Trinité had inherited the previous year when she received the job of nurse's aide; Then I had to hear the jeremiads of my Sr Marie de l'Incarnation whom I found half dead with exasperation near the boxes of her pigeons because “they are all uncoupled and in disarray; never have there been so many disorders in their families, one of them perished by lightning, it's going to be a lost brood, because his little wife can't do it alone! In short, she will be obliged to lock them all tomorrow in their respective huts to restore order (at that time, the barnyard had 120 animals: hens, rabbits, pigeons).
With all this, I couldn't find a minute to tell you, dear Mother, how much pleasure your pretty little note gave me. Ah! it went straight to my heart than the beautiful phrases of the good sister of Providence...
It is clear, my dear Mother, that you are made in the image of God. I even believe that on all the earth it is you who most resemble him; I find you so merciful that it seems to me that the good Lord cannot be more so. So, you want to let me always say about my "brooms of mischief" "There could be but only one!" »
Monsieur l'Abbé (Father Victor Chêné, then chaplain of the Carmel and much loved by Thérèse's sisters.) Beneath their comical allure, the following sentences reveal certain sufferings of cloistered life: not all the sisters accommodated also from the usual confessor... (Therese experienced this herself); is far from adopting this motto, he would like to hear me say: “Y'en could but at all! Yes, but he will die in his desire, because that is something that will never happen. It is however well made, too, in the likeness of the good Lord, but I don't know, it's not quite like you. After all, it's no wonder: do men know about dolls!...
It is not because Thérèse protects me and defends me that you must be swept away, my little Mother. No, no, what she told you was just the echo of your heart. What is swept away, as you put it so well, is my pride, my self-esteem, my ugly faults. Well, it's not really worth using brooms from time to time for such a useful work!...
I intend to have another word from you, that of my birthday must be in addition? Please do me this little pleasure again.
Your little girl.
4. September 7, 1905.
My darling little Mother, As a present for your Birthday, I come to tell you that my tooth is completely cured. I can't believe it myself! it's as if I had never had any pain. Well, this miracle (because it is one!) was granted to your faith and not to mine which was so imperfect because I dared not believe that a tooth which made me suffer so much could be so suddenly heal. I can't tell you how happy it made me feel. Talking, eating don't bother me at all, and even the look that used to hurt me so much I don't notice anymore. Say whatever you want, but there's something out of the ordinary about it. Quite simply, little Thérèse, wanting to please her little Mother, restored her doll's tooth to good condition! Are you happy now, and will you still say that she never listens to you? As for me, she was deeply offended by your blasphemy and did everything possible to make you retract it as quickly as possible, not being able to bear that there was a grudge against her...
Very dear little Mother, your direction yesterday did me a lot, a lot of good. I make every effort to have that perfect exterior that you would so much like to see in me. This morning when I woke up I thought of Anna who had so much trouble around her little Andrée, taking care of her constantly day and night without counting the fatigue. So I said to myself that I should do no less for the Child Jesus living in my soul and waiting for life and development from my care and my love. He too is a demanding child, he constantly wants us to take care of him, to feed him, to make him play, to walk him. I will satisfy all his whims by being vigilant in doing everything he asks of me, performing all the ceremonies of the Choir down to the minutest detail, all the little things that are recommended to us.
Like little Andrée, He also sleeps very little and doesn't want to let me rest because He can't walk, make progress without my help. So I promised Him to take good care of Him and now I don't want to be distracted by anything else.
Your granddaughter Marie de la Trinité
5. January 21, 1906.
To my dear mother.
"A hair from his beloved
Raptured the heart of the bridegroom. »
This memory charmed me so much
That I have done this very sweet work.
Thus the friends of Thérèse
Will be able to adorn themselves with her hair
And by them delight at their ease
The loving heart of the King of heaven.
[Mary of the Trinity — who quotes the Song of Songs 4,9 — made sachets or reliquaries of Thérèse's hair as a festive gift for Saint Agnes. She introduces them with a compliment in verse].
6 - April 1906.
My darling little Mother, My soul is completely fulfilled to have seen you today (Marie de la Trinité is in great retirement; Mother Agnès has received her in the direction.) it seems to me that I spent a short time in the heaven, I have not told you much because I am powerless to express the feelings of gratitude that overflow from my heart towards the infinite mercies of the Lord, but I feel that you understand me without my needing to say a lot , in this you show that you are made in the image of God.
During Compline I had before me at the Chapter the sentence: “If you do not do penance, you will fall into the hands of the Lord. “Oh! I said: that's my business! I will certainly fall into the hands of the Lord because I do not do penance! I do not call for penance to suffer for Jesus whom I love so much. On the contrary, I find that there are no delights comparable to this...
Thérèse and Little Mother's doll.
7. April 13, 1906. Extracts.
Good Friday 1906.
My darling little Mother, my heart is so full of your beautiful chapter that I cannot help writing it to you. Oh ! that I would therefore like to love Jesus as he loved me, to bring him all the souls he bought at the cost of so much love and to always stand before him to defend him at the cost of my blood from the hatred of all his persecutors. We will guard him, too, but we will rise to guard him, we will stand up to defend him, making him like a rampart of our bodies, that is to say, sacrificing our lives with his (...). The more we see him persecuted, squeezed closely by his enemies, the more closely we ourselves will squeeze him by a union every day more intimate with him, so that it never happens that an arrow can reach him without reaching us. first and to have become blunted in our own heart". (1st notebook of the Exhortations of Mother Agnès of Jesus, in Chapter 19021908, p. 106; copy made by the hand of Sister Marie de la Trinité.). Mother Agnès, then very affected by a blasphemous writing: "What God does and what he does not do", will endeavor to refute it during her retreat with a long poem "That our God is good for those who have the upright heart” (June 14, 1906)].
I want to redouble my fidelity so that this is so and put all my joy into taking advantage of the multiple opportunities that will present themselves in order to prove to Jesus that my love for him is very real...
Yesterday, while I was singing Darkness with all my heart, I remembered with great consolation what our little sister Th. of the Child Jesus said to me a few days after my entrance (The line quoted in VT, n. 77: CSM no. 32] (...)
This memory was very sweet to me, so I redoubled my fervor in my singing, saying to my little Thérèse: “It's for the two of us that I'm still singing, I want it to be something agreed upon forever; give me your love so that my song may please Jesus and I leave to you the merits of my labors at the Divine Office. You understand now, dear Mother, why I don't spare my voice in the Choir: it's because having to sing for two, I also have to double my efforts. Alas! I succeeded so badly that several told me that I sang too loudly, that my voice was strained. This is a truth that makes me rage internally and almost makes me impatient to see that my voice cannot respond to my ardor. Because it is to the ends of the earth that I would like to have the power to make heard the praises of the good God!
My darling little Mother, you must recognize here my ardent nature which often contrasts with my childlike character. Well yes, both of these extremes are within me. Look, to take a proof of this in the Office even yesterday when such serious thoughts occupied my soul, imagine that it was a real pleasure for me when I had to go and extinguish a candle at the end of the Psalms. This amused me, and I would not have given up my place to another without sacrifice (The solemn office of the Holy Days, called Darkness (celebrated around 16 p.m.). was then accompanied by a particular rite: they had in the choir a large triangular candlestick with 15 candles. A sister went to extinguish one after each psalm: nine for Matins, five for Landes, and that of the Cantique Benedictus.)
This reminds me of a memory of intimacy with my little sister Th. de l'EnfantJ. (Here follows the story of the red balloon, published in DE, 782 s. See also CSM. n° 57, quoted in VT, n. 77])(...) For once, my little Mother, it's I'm writing you a real doll's letter, only you who know me inside out can read and understand it. I'm counting on you coming to kiss me for my pain of having distracted you for a few minutes or else you'll need the magic ladder to get the doll back up..
8. June 1906.
My darling little Mother, I am very deprived that you are in Retreat, I would have been so happy to tell you in detail about the Golden Wedding (Golden Wedding of his parents, married on May 29, 1856; cf. VT, No. 72, p. 296.— “Gab” who will be discussed is his sister Gabrielle, nun at Providence in Lisieux, sister Sainte-Scholastique).
It's too long to write them all to you; finally, the little that I was able to tell you about it could give you a small idea of it. Gab. told me that Papa loved his dear Carmel more and more. When she told him that she had bought us cakes in her name so that we could take part in the party, her eyes immediately filled with tears and thanking her profusely, he said to her: "You couldn't offer us gift that made us more happy! Ah! these dear Carmelites, how I carry them in my heart!...” The good old man with a white beard whom you have seen in the photo is a former and holy Brother director of the Mastership, of Papa's age. At dessert, he took Papa by the arm, saying to him: "Come on, old friend of the good Lord, let's start singing together," and they intoned with gusto:
Happy who from childhood
Subject to the laws of the Lord
Didn't with innocence
Lost the peace of his heart.
The elan with which they sang this beautiful and appropriate hymn was such that no one could hold back their tears.
My darling little Mother, I don't have time to interest you more, but this simple little line will tell you the pious, intimate cachet of the party from which Gabrielle returned so fragrant, just as if she had tasted a foretaste of the joys that we are waiting in our beautiful homeland.
Ah! my little Mother, with what sweetness your little daughter savors every day this foretaste of celestial joys by applying herself in all her actions to loving Jesus and making him loved by souls! And to think that it is to you that I owe my happiness!...
Your darling little doll
9. June 10, 1906.
Feast of the Holy Trinity, June 10, 1906
My darling little mother,
It is impossible to express the joy and the good that your little letter has done me! Ah! what a delightful echo your sweet words resonate in my heart, they touch all the strings and make them vibrate in a delicious song of love and gratitude towards Jesus! Yes, more than ever, I want my life to be a song of praise and love to the adorable Trinity who was kind enough to choose me so particularly for such a beautiful destiny. Doesn't St John Chrysostom say that our names are not given to us by chance, but that in the eternal purposes of God they are the summary of what we will do in life, they signify the role we have to fill in.
Oh ! my little Mother, despite my unworthiness, I am not afraid of not being equal to such a sublime mission, the Holy Trinity does not descend into my heart every morning, it is therefore Herself who will be praised in me, I will only have to take care not to put any discordance in this divine song; as long as I fulfill with love her Will expressed by all that is asked of us, I will be sure to be in perfect harmony with her. How beautiful is our life!...
My little Mother, it gave me great pleasure to see that, like me, you were touched by the anticipated rewards that the good Lord grants to my beloved family to console them for their past trials. In his impatient love he showers them with consolations of all kinds. Oh! yes, there would be enough to blend in gratitude and love for such a good God. All of this gives me a new impetus to love him madly and “provoke his merciful Love by my acts of virtue”. I feel the need to give Him back love for love, and I am not sorry that He still leaves me in this exile to have the consolation of suffering a little for Him... Oh! Of course ! I will take care not to cover myself with my wings when I go to contemplate Him face to face. Wouldn't it be enough to have remained so many years deprived of the sight of Him who only reveals himself to me through his goodness!...
Oh ! my little Mother, today my heart is full, overflowing, it did me good to spread it a little in yours, I can even say that I emptied it in yours! You know me so well that by the little I have just told you you have certainly penetrated to the depths of my soul, so exiled and so thirsty for love!...
Your granddaughter, Marie de la Trinité
10. August 12, 1906.
I had hoped that my "little Mother" would surprise me with a very small bonus for my birthday ([Marie de la Trinité enters her thirty-third year, "perfect age") until now I have lived from hope... Oh, my dear Mother, whatever you say about it, if you knew the good that your little Chapter did me ("Exhortation to a more perfect fidelity and regularity"), at the approach of the Perpetual Adoration (from August 14) Mother Agnès also speaks of Sister Saint John of the Cross, who will die the following September 3; the desire that it has increased in my soul not to lay down my arms until after having fought valiantly! is this grace that I asked the good God for my birthday.When I begin my perfect age, I am in the disposition to have a perfect year or at least to aim for it with all my efforts.
Oh! how I would like to fall on the field of battle, arms in hand! (PN 48, My Weapons) It is death that I aspire to, the one that frightens me the least, and really I do not understand why it is so little envied by souls who are, like us, all of God .
I don't see what's so appealing about dying of disease? We are stupefied several months in advance without being able to pray or breathe, surrounded by heartbroken-looking sisters chanting prayers in gloomy tones that will make you die of sadness and fear!...
I prefer to find myself suddenly, without knowing how, in the arms of the good God, taken unawares by him in any act of my religious life. Aren't all the actions I do for the good Lord? I work every moment to do better for his love, well, I trust that he will take pity on my goodwill and take me with him when he finds me most disposed; He, who loves me infinitely more than I love him, will never trick me into catching me in an imperfection, even less in a sin! Oh ! no, his merciful Love to which I surrendered myself is not capable of it! Then her little queen is there to watch... and, in her maternal pride, she will very quickly throw on her doll all her supply of roses which will forever cover all her failings and make her magnificent.
It has happened to me sometimes, after a good act of virtue, to say to my angel Thérèse: “What are you waiting for to take me away? Do not put yourself in the cheek (reminder of a reflection of Thérèse as a child, quoted by Mrs. Martin in her letter of 22101876) that I will never do better, you are missing a famous opportunity! »
You have to believe that she hopes to get even better out of her doll since she is turning a deaf ear! In the meantime, I abandon myself to the good God full of confidence, keeping no other concern than that of pleasing him in all things as well as my little Mother, my visible Jesus here below.
11. December 24, 1910.
Jesus! Christmas Eve 1910
My darling little Mama,
Matins will ring soon and I want to take advantage of this last moment of the vigil to remind myself with you of the lovely dream I had, the memory of which is a real consolation to me.
I had just died, and suddenly I find myself, with other people, in front of a large door through which everyone had to pass to go either to Heaven, to purgatory, to limbo or to hell. At the entrance of this door, there were different lockers where each individual had to take his lot of good and bad deeds to have it reviewed by the guards of the door and according to the examination, they showed them the way they had to take to get either to Heaven, purgatory or hell.
Trembling, I opened my locker and was surprised for a moment to find it empty. Suddenly I remember the desire I had had on earth to present myself before the good God with empty hands to avoid all judgment and to have a place in Heaven among the Holy Innocents who receive everything freely from merciful Love. Full of confidence seeing in this the pledge of my answered prayer, I present myself at this door which seemed to me like a customs post.
The guards look at me surprised and, anticipating their interrogations, I say to them: "Do you want to show me the way of the little ones?" — "This way," said one of them, pointing to a very beautiful alley. After walking for some time, I found myself in front of splendid gardens: it was Heaven. Among the many chosen, I saw a group of virgins talking together as they walked; they were resplendent with beauty and enjoyed incomparable happiness. One of them, having seen me, ran up to me and kissed me, welcoming me. As soon as I recognized her, she was a holy nun whom I had known in society: “Ah! I said to him, I am not surprised to see you here, you were so good on earth! " - " Oh ! what joy to see you again, she said to me, we shall live happily together forever! "Yes," I replied, "I'll be back to see you often but I'm not staying with you, I'm not for the same home, you see, I'm empty-handed and it's the way of the little ones that I'm looking for." — "The way of the little ones!" she resumed with admiration, showing me the way, oh! it's much higher!..." I left it and continued on my way, still climbing, and suddenly at the turn of a hill I saw a great light and someone said: "Here is the way of the little ones. Immediately, alas, I awoke!
You can imagine, darling little Mother, the consolation that this dream leaves in my soul and what encouragement to follow Thérèse's little path! I remember that only three months before her death she wrote to me: “The good Lord is calling you to become a great saint while remaining small and becoming more so every day. (LT 242)
Ah! little mother whom I love madly, ask Baby Jesus that I become as little as He and his little Queen: that is all your little girl's ambition
Mary of the Trinity
12. January 21, 1911.
Happy Mother's Day to my darling Mother. January 21, l911.
For our little Thérèse
I devote myself with love
Working like this incessantly
Ah! how short time seems to me!
So that my Little Mother
Will only have my kiss from me
I know that far from displeasing him
My poverty will charm her.
Working for "Little Queen"
O Mother! it makes you happy
Also I love my sweet chain
Which gives me such pleasure.
13. January 21, 1912.
I am from my dear Mother
The poor and faithful blue bird.
I am delighted with my job
And I thank the good Lord
At St Paul, Braun and Cie...
To steal from so many publishers
I use my feathers and my life.
Is there any sweeter work?
Yes I stole breathlessly
To celebrate you on this beautiful day.
You will see from "Little Queen"
All portraits with love.
Seeing that my birthday present
Would never arrive in time
I invoked the dear estafette
Holy little Innocents.
And the cute, sweet ploy!
Hurried me yesterday morning
D'Auteuil the administrator himself
To bring me this beautiful booty.
My very humble present I hope
Will give you a little pleasure.
Unfold very quickly, my Mother,
My little souvenir albums.
[Besides the Imprimerie SaintPaul (BarleDuc), the Braun house and other publishers, Sister Marie de la Trinité made the Imprimerie des Orphelins d'Auteuil work all the more willingly because her father had been one of the most assiduous collaborators of the Founder, Father Roussel, and that is how our Little Saint heard about this dear House of Charity for unhappy children and prayed for its development. She had no idea that she would later become its providential Patroness” cf. Circular of Sister Marie of the Trinity, p. 18].
14. January 21, 1915.
Happy Birthday
to my darling Little Mother.
I don't know how to compliment
The truth I tell it without turns
I love my little mom very much
And my love for her is boundless.
Sr Marie of the Trinity and of the Holy Face rcind.
15. May 1915.
My dear little Mama
If you only knew how good your "great word" did me, I think about it constantly, it gives me more courage to bear the night of exile; besides, everything that comes from you carries a marvelous grace for my soul. I recognize that the good Lord has put many twinkling stars in “my night”, but the most beautiful, the one that gives me the most joy, is my beloved little Mama! Oh ! How grateful I am to God for having given me such a gift! I also feel that it is in my power to increase the joy that my beautiful and favorite little "star" gives me, it is to love her always more, and the less I seek myself in this love the more I feel this love to grow... then the night for me changes into clarity, (Ps138, 11) it's like an anticipated sky.
Your little girl that you make so so happy!
Sr Marie of the Trinity rci
16. January 21, 1916.
He is not on earth
such happy people
Only in the Monastery
From the Carmel of Lisieux.
Our “Little Mother”
Makes all our happiness
And his dear crook
Leads us to the Lord.
Today I'm proud
To offer him cheerfully
The electric light
Its striking symbol.
When towards us, O Shepherdess
Project (sic) your rays
The joy is all
In your little sheep.
For what ? It's a mystery
Of the love of Jesus
Who gave you, my Mother,
His grace and his virtues.
Here is our prayer
On this blessed day,
Our very sincere wish:
Shine on us always!
Sr. Marie of the Trinity rcind.
[We do not know what gift it is].
17. May 21, 1917.
My darling little mother,
I'm still completely absorbed by the pretty dream I had this morning... I hadn't slept for more than an hour, when a few moments before waking up I dozed off. I then saw Mother MarieAnge accompanied by Mother Isabelle and Mother Thérèse of the Eucharist (These are the "three little saints", conquests of Thérèse shortly after her death and kidnapped still young, after an exemplary life: Mother MarieAnge (1909 ), Mother Isabelle of the Sacred Heart (1914), Mother Thérèse of the Eucharist (1915. Their circulars were published in the form of a booklet. We found in the papers of Marie de la Trinité a second account of the same dream, amalgamating the notes 17 and 18, and bearing the date of May 21, 1917. We know that MarieLouise Castel had made her first communion on May 21, 1885, the day when Thérèse Martin renewed hers).
All three looked at me smiling and with an affection that I cannot express. I felt so happy that, unable to bear such great consolation, I began to sob, and they looked at me with even more love. They were of a beauty that nothing could render, especially Mother Thérèse of the Eucharist who had a particular brilliance. They said nothing to me, nor I either, but their looks made me understand that their sufferings here below had been very little compared to the infinite joy which was their share.—Under the too strong pressure of this consolation I woke me up...
All my life, my dear Mama, I will keep the memory of this visit from Heaven, which does so much good to my soul. In gratitude I offered my Communion this morning to increase their glory in Heaven.
Sr Marie de la Trinité rci May 21, 1917
32nd anniversary of my 1st Communion and my Confirmation.
18. June 25, 1917.
My darling little mother,
I give you the story of my dream with the few details you asked me:
The day before I received this celestial visitation, I noted in the evening prayer that since I had accepted the prospect of remaining imperfect all my life, (MSA 74,1) I was much more humble and I enjoyed of great inner peace. It wasn't that I was giving up on perfection, on the contrary, I was in the disposition to "always raise my little foot" despite the uselessness of my efforts and I said to myself: "How I would like Thérèse to give me a sign that I am well in his little way, without any illusions! I thought the next day that this dream was his answer...
Oh ! what an indescribable moment I had! Seeing them look at me so affectionately, I was to ask them why they had come (sic) and if soon I would go with them; but immediately I remembered these words of Little Thérèse in another dream that you know: “If you only knew the price of a life of faith!...” And then I no longer wanted to ask anything. As for them, as if they had read my mind, they looked at me with even more love.
It has been more than a month since this grace was granted to me, but it leaves an impression on me as vivid as if it were yesterday. Since I saw, as in a flash, the bliss they enjoy, I dread the suffering less, knowing that it must lead to this unparalleled bliss.
Another good that I get out of it is more charity towards our Sisters, I look at them with a certain respect... today they are dull and in the darkness and disorder of the fight, but despite everything there is I seem to see them already in glory clothed in the radiance of our three little saints and I find the good Lord so merciful to have marked my place among them! Sometimes it's such a strong feeling that I could cry.
I also say to myself: if little souls are so beautiful in Heaven, what must be the beauty of Thérèse, the Queen of little souls? And the beauty of the good God Creator of so many marvels? ...
Ah! the enjoyments that await us well deserve that we suffer a bit in the night of faith; with his Little Mother with him, it's not very hard yet!
Oh ! how I can't wait to see your lugubrious veil raised (Mother Agnès had her black veil lowered over her face during her retreat, according to custom.), very likely to throw dark thoughts into the heads of your “little ones”.
Sr. Marie of the Trinity rcind.
19. June 9, 1918.
My dear little Mama, this morning I woke up muttering mechanically: “I make a lot of little sacrifices. "Immediately, I remembered that it was Little Thérèse who told you that in the infirmary a few days before her death and I was happy to think that she herself brought me this spiritual bouquet on this beautiful anniversary for me. remember that a little victim of love must always struggle and overcome. The grace that accompanied this word was so great that I feel completely renewed and ready to miss as little as possible these thousand little daily sacrifices “which leave so much peace and strength in the soul” (MSC 31,1). I also thought that when Thérèse told you that she was very ill and was suffering a real martyrdom; it seems that these sufferings should have greatly sufficed her and exempted her from mortifying herself elsewhere. Well, she was doing quite the opposite! What an example and what a stimulus for me whose whole ambition is to imitate it at all costs. — My darling little Mama, I feel that I will die in my desire, without ever succeeding in accomplishing it, I always raise my little foot which falls helplessly, but I am not discouraged, keeping in my heart the beautiful promise that you know , of Little Thérèse, assuring me that it is at the bottom of the staircase of perfection that Jesus will come to take me to take me to Heaven.
I pray for you, my darling Little Mother, I am sorry to know you are so tired, but I offer my pain to the good Lord so that this retreat may be a real physical and moral rest for you.
Your little girl who loves you as much as it is possible to love
Sr Mary of the Trinity
20. June 15, 1918.
+ My dear little Mama, you came to our cell to bring me the [scratched word: it must be the mail] and I wasn't there!... How I regretted it! Tomorrow, it will be 24 years since you opened the doors of this blessed Carmel to me. What joy for me to think that I am your first little girl! Oh ! God has spoiled me anyway! there's no way He could have done more for me than He did. Ask Him, darling Mama, that I love Him here below as much as his Little Thérèse loved him, so that I may be, like her, your glory in Heaven. In the meantime, I want to be your little joy [like Thérèse LT 1] on earth, to always please you, like my visible Jesus. Oh ! how transparent He is to me in you! What sweetness for me to toil by your side in this land of exile...
your little one
Mary of the Trinity
21. May 8, 1919.
My darling little Mama,
For your anniversary of May 8 [thirty-five years of profession] I wanted to try to put into verse one of my interviews with little Thérèse, the one whose memory does me the most good. There are probably mistakes but I couldn't do better...
Your little girl who loves you so, so much, that she couldn't love you more!
Sr Mary of the Trinity
If my little verses aren't to your liking, you have to tear them up, I won't have the slightest trouble.
(Follows the poem reproduced in VT n° 77, under the reference CSM n° 43)
22. May 14, 1919.
My darling little Mama;
I am happy. to have so much work at this moment helps me to pass the time of your retirement less sadly. My God, how the souls in purgatory must suffer from being deprived of the sight of God! To be deprived of the sight of my Little Mother does the same to me! But I offer this suffering willingly to the good God so that He may grant all the desires of your heart.
Today I prepared an order of 900 Fr for Grente - “the Miss” passes me her notebook every day, the orders abound more and more... 2 card mandates of 500 f each today! You see if Thérèse's doll needs to be articulated!
Good evening Mum so tenderly darling
Sr Mary of the Trinity
("The Miss" was helping Maryelle de la Tour d'Auvergne (sister of Mother Thérèse of the Eucharist) to keep the little procures open opposite the Carmel in August 1912. "Grente" is no doubt a (good) client of then, rather than Mrs Grant, guardian of the house where she was born in Alençon).
23. April 29, 1920.
My dear little Mama
Your 1st granddaughter is counting on your prayers tomorrow, 24th anniversary of her Profession. I told Father Pitrou (Father de La Délivrande, then Chaplain of the Carmel (+ 1932) that I was offering the Mass that he would say for all the intentions of our Little Thérèse. And as I know that his dearest intention is the happiness of her Little Mother whom she loves so much, you will greatly benefit from the infinite merits of this Mass. Oh, how I love you my darling little Mama, my love for you and my little Thérèse are the same, it is not little to say!!This double love which makes it one makes all the joy of my exile and makes me live in a perpetual act of thanksgiving towards the good God who reveals himself to me through you with so much sweetness.
You would have enjoyed this evening at recreation reading your delightful verses Oh! yes you are deeply loved by all, it can be felt and seen, all hearts vibrate at the slightest word from their "MomJesus". I didn't expect to write all of this to you! it's a spontaneous throw from the heart of "bobonne"
(The nickname, originally attributed to Sister Geneviève by Thérèse (cf. DE, 532 and 871), will occasionally pass to such and such a sister, among the most devoted of the Community).
24. March 8, 1925.
I am taking advantage that it is Sunday to write you this little letter [Mother Agnès of Jesus makes her annual retreat (11 days). This will still be the case for tickets n. 25, 26, 27, 28, 33, 38, 40, 47, 48 (as well as 31, 32, 37, not cited here)] because on weekdays, I don't have time to “breathe it”.
I want to tell you that I pray with all my heart for you so that your retirement is truly a time of rest for you, you have a great need for new strength to undergo the formidable shock of the Canonization and all its consequences, not to mention his current history!
After all, it's not a dream... our little Thérèse is indeed going to be canonized and it's us who see such a thing! Oh ! my little Mother, what a model of holiness the good Lord presents to the world! He has never done anything that looks so much like Him and at the same time is so accessible.
The other day when you scolded me and when I showed you my pride by apologizing, you cannot believe the good that the sight of my imperfection did to me” (...).
25. March 10, 1926.
"It is not for me that I subject myself to winning it (a Jubilee), for us love purifies us at every moment, but I am happy to give this gift to our little Thérèse so that she can have it as she wishes.
Oh ! my little Mother, if you only knew how much I want to love the good God as our little Thérèse loved him, to be like her the joy of his Heart! In prayer it is the greatest dryness, but I inflame my heart by slowly repeating the stanzas of Living on Love or Remembering, then the good Lord has the illusion of still hearing his little Thérèse and I feel that He is happy.
I am captivated by the letters of your Holy Mother, they make you laugh and cry at the same time. She draws your portrait so vividly that I burst out laughing! All the glory of her children must now reflect on her and she must not regret having toiled and suffered so much. (...)
26. March 13, 1927.
(...) Pray also for me, my darling little Mama, I would like so much to love the good God as he desires! What sweetness I taste in the light it gives me on my little nothingness... it cannot be expressed, it must be experienced. The other day, during my thanksgiving, these words: "Extremes meet" filled me with joy. Yes, extreme littleness reaches the good God and unites with Him, He is our All in proportion as we are nothing. Oh ! what doctrine of truth is that of our beloved Saint, all her words are light and life, and so consoling!
This morning I was thinking of death, or rather of the sufferings that precede it. I saw Jesus on the cross grappling with the acute pain and forsaken by his Father. Perhaps, I said to myself, it will be the same for me... So I say, with our little Thérèse: “Hey! well, if it pleases the good Lord to see me on the ground, to bear my sufferings weakly, it doesn't matter. ! I accepted this humiliation in advance for his love and I received great peace from it. Isn't it better to be weak and humble than strong and proud?
27. March 19, 1927.
I was waiting for this non-working day to come back to you, I miss the time on the other days. I am still under the impression of your pretty, heavenly composition for Sister Thérèse of Saint Augustin (The poetry "What I saw" 17 couplets, for her golden jubilee), it touches the most sensitive fibers of the heart, especially we who have known and loved our beloved Saint so much, and in replaying the glories that we have lived through, I wonder how we were able to enjoy them without dying. Ah! it is also that the good Lord knew how to mix them with salutary bitterness; in exile one cannot taste unmixed joys. Later, in Heaven, those who believe that we only had to enjoy the triumph of our holy little Thérèse will be very surprised...
28. March 13, 1928.
(...) It is sweet for me to repeat to you my affection so felt, it is sweet for me to feel that we are nearing the end together, after having made a happy crossing together, despite the few gusts of wind. I already feel in my soul like an air of eternal celebration, as if it were very close, it's a peace so delicious that I could sing about it from morning to night. It is not a passing peace, but the possession of a lasting joy which makes everything that happens, happy or painful, say: “You fill me with joy, Lord, by all that you do”; or again with our beloved saint: “I can no longer suffer because all suffering is sweet to me, in the will of Jesus”. Oh ! when we have faith in the love of Him who does or allows everything for our happiness, how happy we are!
The other day, at the dishes, talking about this happiness with Sister Louise of Jesus (Last witness of an era, Sister Louise returned to God on August 16, 1982, leaving the memory of a radiant faith and a rare apostolic zeal. In the little demonstration that follows, she brings the two parallel sticks together, then arranges them in a cross), she says to me: "My little sister, here are two sticks, bring these 2 sticks together like this , it is the union, the fusion. But if you go against them, if your will is not in harmony with that of the good God, for example if you want health while He wants illness for you, you cross the 2 woods, it's the +, i.e. suffering".
29. January 25, 1929.
I come to tell you about a grace that our holy little Thérèse granted me last night: Around midnight and a half I was seized with great weakness, sweat flooded me, I thought I was ill. In my anguish—because of the hour which prevented me from taking anything so as not to miss Communion—I invoked our little Thérèse, telling her that since she often took up nursing with the sick, she would have pity on me and rescued me. I didn't see her, but almost immediately my weakness disappeared and I was able to go back to sleep.
Ah! what thanks I owe her, my darling little Mother! especially that of placing my soul in the full truth of its little path of trust and abandonment.
30. March 10, 1929.
What deep joy you must have had yesterday evening on receiving the letter from the Chaplain and how proud we were of yours to the head of the AF ["Le chef de l'Action Française" Ch. Maurras. It was in February 1929 that Pius XI entrusted Saint Thérèse of Lisieux with the outcome of this affair; see the Annales, August-September 1939. DanielRops, “Un combat pour Dieu (Fayard, 1963), p. 502]! I was moved to tears. Oh ! yes, we will have them and the good Lord will use his little Thérèse and the little souls of his legion to win this fine victory. It is always in the little ones that He will seek His instruments of mercy, so that all glory may return to Him. See in today's Gospel, Jesus uses a few loaves of bread from a child to feed a whole multitude... The little ones have no other means than their love to obtain what they want, so I practice only to please God in all things and I am sure of success.
33. February 22, 1931.
“The 4 is leaving, it will be fine! The 5 is coming, it's going well! (Humorous refrain familiar to Marie de la Trinité: The fourth day has passed, the fifth is coming...") Despite everything, it passes slowly according to my heart and although you remain among us, it is a veil of mourning thrown over these 11 days. How happy we will be in Heaven where we will not need to hide ourselves from those we love the better to unite ourselves with the good God!
In this prison that is exile, our poor fallen body is a very heavy burden for our soul made in the image of God and whose divine aspirations are constantly hampered. And yet the good Lord, by giving us so particularly our Little Thérèse, has put a beautiful patch of blue sky in our dark night, she is truly the radiant star of our life, the joy of our heart. And what encouragement to live alongside one's "Little Mother", to share with her the same sorrows and the same joys! (...) For me, as for Little Thérèse, you are the image of mercy, of the gentleness of God.
34. April 14, 1931.
Saturday, after the Doctor's session, the good Lord made me feel strongly that it was He who was supporting me, while I suffered the peaks of fire. I gently thought that it was his divine hand that led the doctor's and that he measured the intensity of the pain by the strength He gave me to bear it... It was such an ineffable feeling that I I was moved to tears, but I wiped them away very quickly because Sister Madeleine (Sister Madeleine of Jesus (+1940), the nurse at the time) came in to dress me and she could have thought it was the pain which made me cry.
Oh ! my darling little Mother, no, you must not apprehend suffering because "He always gives strength", said when he died (26 years ago today) our little sister Marie of the Eucharist (The death of Sister Marie of the Eucharist (April 14, 1905) was particularly beautiful and serene (see Marie Guérin, by Father Piat (OCL, 1953), p. 119). patience, to say that it was that of Jesus and not his. Yes, when we humbly recognize our impotence and expect everything from the good God, we can say with assurance: "I can do all things in Him who strengthens me" and fly to martyrdom as to a feast. But it is usually to the weakest that God gives this enthusiasm to sustain them, and those who do not have it are even more virtuous: it is our Saint who said so.
35. May 3, 1931.
(...) You know that I have always appreciated our Holy darling, eh! well, would you believe it! I have the effect of appreciating him more every day. His virtues appear to me more and more divine, his doctrine is more luminous to me every day...
I also wanted to tell you, my darling Little Mother, on what occasion our Saint wrote in the story of her Soul that, just as Solomon turned to the works of his hands, she understood better than ever that "all was vanity and affliction of spirit”. It was your feast day, January 21, 1895; the 2nd part of her composition “Jeanne d'Arc” which she had played with the novitiate had won her the admiration of the Community. (...)
36. November 20, 1931.
Our little Thérèse often told me that the good Lord was pleased to draw good from evil. In the great pain that brings us down, this thought comforts me. In his time, the good Lord will know how to raise up someone who will be even better than Fr. Léonard, and we, we will “jabot” for having suffered for our beautiful work in the world. It is certain that two enemies cannot walk together, it would have been perpetual and very painful friction. The good Lord no doubt wants to use a weak instrument like he made our Little Thérèse who renews the world, and the little peasant girls Bernadette and Joan of Arc... Father MarieBernard had magnificent designs for decoration, this weak instrument would not offend Cordonnier and perhaps he would follow his advice to have them executed? (Father Léonard, sj, had been asked by Abbé Germain, with the approval of the Carmel of Lisieux, for the interior decoration of the Basilica. The architect, authoritarian and versatile at times, aborted the project of collaboration The mosaics were entrusted to another decorator)
I am writing to you, my little Mother, what goes through my head and what comes out of my heart to soften your pain. The best thing for the moment is to put aside any final decoration work until the good Lord has shown his will.
38. March 6, 1932.
I would have liked to be able to write to you today and now all the proofs of the 1933 calendar block have arrived to me, (For many years, Marie de la Trinité ensured the composition of the calendar to be leafed through each day, and corrected the proofs) so I didn't do anything else. On re-reading the sentence: "The good Lord destined me to become the apostle of the apostles...", (Ms A, 56 r°; Thérèse was proclaimed patroness of the Missions on December 14, 1927) I thought that she had really prophesied, since the Holy Father declared her Patroness of all the Missionaries throughout the world. Oh ! How great is our Little Thérèse! (...)
40. March 5, 1933.
Luckily I'm busy tidying up the archives, it makes your retirement seem shorter to me, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about you, on the contrary! Your memory is so linked to that of our beloved Saint that it is one. His glory is yours, and what glory!... Although we are accustomed to it, when arranging his archives, we are left in astonishment.
The first newspaper which spoke of her, in 1899, was called "L'Espérance du Peuple", (Journal de la LoireInférieure (at the time...), of Thursday August 31, 1899, n° 204. It this is an anonymous recension of the Story of a Soul) wasn't it significant? I assure you, my Little Mother, that I have no difficulty in doing this work “with a good heart” as you told us in your last Chapter: “Do everything with a good heart”; despite the inevitable fatigue, I feel very privileged to be in charge of it.
As for the copy of your deposition [putting to proper form the numerous loose sheets written by Mother Agnès with a view to the Apostolic Process], if that should give you the slightest pleasure, I would not hesitate to get back to it. It was because you told me that this work did not interest you that my courage was cut short. My heart is in work only according to the pleasure it can give you, for I am sure of pleasing God in the same proportion. (...)
41. August 12, 1933.
Today, the anniversary of my birth, reminds me of another very touching memory of this very day, 23 years ago.
In front of the open gate of the Oratory (For the depositions of the Carmelites at the two Trials, Mother Agnès had a window (with an opening gate) opened in the wall adjoining the Oratory and the exterior sacristy. The ecclesiastical tribunal sat in the sacristy, and the Carmelites thus remained in the enclosure) where the sessions of the first great Informative Process of our Blessed Little Sister were to take place, after you had, in a very moved voice, taken the solemn oath, M. Dubosq leaned towards you with an ineffable smile calling: "Mother Agnès of Jesus". His air, his tone seemed to say: “Approach without fear, do not be afraid. »
Oh ! this first call, to the first Witness, the little Mother of Thérèse, how it must have made Heaven tremble!
It is sweet for me to relive today with you, my little Mother, this simple but so profound memory. What great things we have seen!... Truly, as Saint darling said, "there would be enough to die of love and gratitude" (LT 230)
42. April 29, 1934.
(...) Tomorrow it will be 38 years since I made my Profession. And on June 16 it will be 40 years since you opened the doors of this blessed Carmel to me. So 40 years that I have had the grace to live in your intimacy, that we have shared our joys and our sorrows... How the good Lord has united us! I will never be able to thank Him enough for having thus given me his Little Thérèse and his Little Mother. I am happy that he made me “stay with you in your work” and your sufferings to love him and make him loved by our little Thérèse!
The other day while thinking of our Holy darling making herself so ineffably “jabot” from all the humiliations of her life, [CJ 27-5-6 and note DE p. 426] I said to myself that I too was more proud of it than if the parchments, titles of nobility of my grandmother, had been highlighted. Ah! how good God is not to have spared us in order to place us fully in the truth! This saying of the Prophet: “The Lord wounds only to heal” (Jb 5, 18) also does me a lot of good, concerning my lupus. Yes, all our physical or moral wounds, united with those of Jesus, serve to heal souls and what a grace to be thus associated with his redemption!
46. April 2, 1935.
(...) I took advantage of the big cleaning of our cell to take back our pallet with pleasure. Everything that, despite my state of infirmity, brings me a little closer to the rule pleases me, because I think that the good Lord attaches to it a particular grace, being the kind of life to which He has called us. He also gives me the grace to willingly accept the reliefs he imposes on me through my so compassionate Little Mama, while his divine Will is to change the rule of suffering into another to his liking and that I want to love. Nevertheless.
47. March 24, 1936.
Here is my face these days with my rabid wolf! (Bill illustrated by the advertisement for the Vermifuge Lune: a baby who sighs... Marie de la Trinité feels, and more and more, intolerable itching in her pain) Effect of spring probably... or rather effect that the good Lord needs our little sufferings changed into love, to compensate for the indifference and hatred of sinners. I don't have time to write to you long, my dear little Mother, I'm sparing up to a minute of my time to finish my interesting copy. What encouragement for me to know that it makes you so happy! So my fatigue no longer counts.
48. March 29, 1936.
Fortunately, I have come to the end of my long Foundation copy, (No less than 462 pages, schoolboy format, bound in a large notebook. This copy reproduces (with a few cuts) the story of the founder, Abbé Pierre-Nicolas Sauvage for the years 18381846 (the original, transcribed by a friend of the monastery, M. Caval, still existing); she adds the partial transcription of the story of the foundress, Mother Geneviève, for the years 18441877 and ends with the list of professed of Lisieux in 18381938 (81 nuns, Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus being the 48th professed of the monastery). This long work was asked of Sister Marie de la Trinité in anticipation of the centenary of the monastery) but despite my pressure I still want to tell my dream, of which my copy is probably the cause.
I had fallen asleep in the morning about a month ago (it was February 22). In my dream, you introduced me to our holy Mother Geneviève, (Entry in 1894, Marie de la Trinité had not known Mother Geneviève, who died in 1891) her gaze fell on me with infinite tenderness, I admired her heart moved and full of joy. Then, pressing me to her heart, she said to me: “My child, will you accept all the will of the good God? I replied enthusiastically: “Oh! yes, my Mother, I want her completely, whoever she is...” She kissed me effusively and under her maternal kiss I awoke, my heart filled with consolation.
My little Mother, I am well paid for by this dream of the trouble I gave myself to my copy of more than 400 pages! I am also so happy to please you with this little work; I return there promptly, repeating to you my deepest affection.
49. December 13, 1936.
Last night I had a very consoling dream. The Monastery was all garlanded as if for a great day of celebration. I was examining the decorations, having Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus by my side. On the first panel stood out a picture of the Holy Face and I kissed it with love; the second panel also represented the Holy Face, the third the same! I saw everywhere only representations of the Holy Face. My heart exulted with joy and I said to my little sister Thérèse of the Child Jesus! “It is therefore a feast in honor of the Holy Face”! And I began to recite all the verses she had composed in his honor. (PN 20)
She listened to me delighted, .... I am happy, I tell her, that it is for me that you have composed your beautiful canticle to the Holy Face! »
Thereupon I woke up, it was 2 o'clock in the morning. Although it is a dream, my darling Little Mother, it leaves me with a grace of strength to bear my pain which gives me a small trait of resemblance to the painful Face of my beloved Jesus. I am counting on our Holy darling to help me carry it through to the end in the serenity of soul that she obtains for me.
51. June 6, 1939.
The novena is over and I am not cured. Humanly speaking, I would have been happy with the recovery for many reasons, the main one of which would have been to relieve my nurse of this long and tiring daily dressing. But when I saw the dispositions in which the good Lord was placing my soul, I did not hope to be cured... I said: "My God, if I were to be a little less pleasant to you without my lupus, I much prefer to keep it for be quite agreeable to you”. And it seemed to me that he looked at me with more complacency as I am because of the features of resemblance to the painful Face of his divine Son.
No, I am not a subject conducive to miracles of healing, so let's leave it at that with the novenas! The good Lord will help me to the end to bear my pain, as He has done so far. I rely on Him and I will not be deceived. I thank him for associating me in a small part with the passion of Jesus for the salvation of souls. In reality, I don't do much because it is He who, from behind, supports the cross of his little child... Thank Him with me, my darling little Mother, while waiting for us to do Him together all eternity.
52. January 19, 1940.
Just now during Vespers, my heart full of our dear little sister Marie of the Sacred Heart (Sister Marie of the Sacred Heart had died the previous night, after long years of infirmity), I fervently recited these 2 verses of the hymn of the Martyrs: “Quae vox, quae poterit lingua retexere / Quae tu Martyribus munera praeparas? (What voice, what language will you be able to sing / The rewards you are preparing for your martyrs?) and I said to myself: "Our dear and so sweet Godmother suffered her martyrdom faithfully to the end, certainly I want to do the same and it is not I who will ask him to cure me! The grace of the good Lord supported her, I trust that she will support me in the same way. Here below, her kind heart was trying to relieve everyone, but now that she sees the price of suffering, she will not take away our difficulties, she will help us overcome them to win the prize like her.
Your little girl who would like not to give you the trouble of her nasty illness and her infirmities,
T.
54. April 9, 1940.
I had made all my plans to make my retirement at the time of my Profession 2030 April. But now you have come to disturb everything by asking me to bring it forward 12 days to give my place to another of our Sisters. Immediately, silencing all the reasonings of my nature, I accepted the proposal and these words of our Saint little Thérèse came back to me with sweetness: "Look at yourself as a little slave that everyone has the right to command" (CSG ) A few moments later, passing under the cloister near the door of the Choir, I said to Jesus: "I am happy to please your wives, at my expense, because it is to please you yourself". Immediately I was perfumed with such a perfume of violets that it was as if the courtyard was covered with them... But nothing! erasure.
My little Mother, my soul is still perfumed with this grace (not with the perfume which only lasted a second!)
Your poor little T.
55. August 6, 1940.
I want to share with you a grace for my feast of the Holy Face [Sister Geneviève and herself had chosen the Transfiguration as the feast of the Holy Face. And it was on August 6, 1896 that Thérèse had recited, with these same two young sisters, her “Consecration to the Holy Face” (HA 1953, pp. 259 ). Yesterday I was as if discouraged from always suffering in my illness and above all I reproached myself for resembling so little morally our holy darling in her love of suffering and I asked her earnestly to obtain this love for me. This morning, during Mass, I felt clearly that this desire made me go out of its little way and that it was better to accept to always be “poor and without strength” in pain. Can we ask a small child to love suffering? He cries, he is unhappy while he suffers...
I understand that our little Thérèse needed the practice of heroic virtues to be canonized, but for the little souls who were to follow her, she traced out a very ordinary little path that keeps them in humility. If the good Lord is pleased to hear us say with his Jesus: “Father, take this chalice away from me”...(Lk 22 42, quoted in LT 197) because he knows that nevertheless we abandon ourselves to his will!
My little Mother, it is hard for me to tell you again this profound grace which has done me so much good! There's nothing new in what I'm telling you, but when the good Lord puts his grace, it's luminous and transforming.
So here I am "big Jean as before" with my pain, but with an inexpressible peace...
56. September 17, 1940.
For the feast of the Holy Cross, the good Lord gave me a grace of light and strength which does me immense good. — I was saddened by thinking that I would never arrive at divine union, by noting the emptiness of my prayers and my weariness of long prayers. However, suddenly, I felt that I was in error in making the union of love consist in spiritual consolations and that this affective union can even lead to pride. I understood strongly that the true union consists quite simply in the loving acceptance of our sufferings, united with those of Jesus, for the salvation of the world. This is really the effective union which makes us communicate at every moment with his painful Passion, a union which takes place in the abandonments and the night of faith.
57. February 7, 1941.
What an exaggeration in this good Doctor! [Dr. Maffei, homeopath, "renowned doctor, friend of his family", says the circular]
If he were to judge things truthfully, he would see that the good God alone deserves praise, for it is his grace that operates in us and gives us the strength to suffer what he asks of us.
58. March 23, 1941.
When you entered our cell last night, it had the effect on me of the visit of the good Lord who had come to encourage me to bear my illness patiently. Although I have no sensible spiritual consolations, I cannot say that I am abandoned by the good God because I feel at every moment the help of his grace to walk in the little way of love and abandonment of our Therese, dark path but so luminous with truth! So this morning I woke up singing (inside)
Lord, for your love I accept martyrdom...
...I want to take up my cross, sweet Jesus and follow you...
(Prayer of Joan of Arc in prison, RP 3, 20v°/21r°)
And may other verses of the same kind cheer me up! What strength I draw from the least words of our Angel! They are divine to impregnate the soul thus with the grace of the good God!... (...) I assure you that my ascent of Calvary is much softened by your dear presence, and you will thus accompany me to Heaven . We have been sharing our joys and our sorrows for 47 years already, these are bonds that cannot be broken and for which I will give eternal thanks to the good God.
Your poor little T. who has become a leper...
59. Good Friday 1941 (April 11).
Jesus passed the most hollow; (That is to say: He has finished suffering... Post written on the evening of Good Friday, likewise n. 61) for us there are still perhaps many hollows to pass... and for me, I it often happens that "I'm right in the middle". (In Norman patois: "I'm jumping right in the middle"; a phrase that was fun at Les Buissonnets; cf. already LD 703, from Marie du Sacré-Coeur to her father, July 23, 1888 (VT n. 56) But my effort powerless to jump the hollow pleases Jesus, I feel it, and it is from the hollow of my misery that he will raise me to Him.
60. June 8, 1941.
I want to quickly rectify what I told you earlier that there were no more parties for me... I meant more natural joys because of my state of infirmity. But the truth is that I live in a perpetual spiritual feast because of my abandonment to the will of the good God. I would gladly say like our little Thérèse: “The good Lord took me and put me there! So he gave me the best of possessions and I wouldn't trade my place for that of the happiest mortal. I love my share as it is because it is the one that the good Lord has made for me and that it pleases him that way.
Your little girl who is so grateful to you for the gentleness you put into her suffering.
61. April 3, 1942 (Good Friday).
Jesus passed the deepest... but not us!...
63. August 23, 1942.
Yesterday evening while doing my dressing before going to bed (Lastly, Marie de la Trinité redid her evening dressing alone, the nurse (Sister Germaine du Sacré-Coeur, died in 1953) doing the morning one. And the lay sisters washed each week of buckets of this soiled linen) — quite painful dressing because of a hemorrhage that had occurred in the neck — I suddenly felt enveloped in the smell of incense, something that never happens to me. So I thought that Saint little Thérèse was coming to tell me: “I am not abandoning you, I am watching over you! » I assure you, my little Mother, that I have been well consoled by this celestial visit and strengthened to continue to suffer according to the designs of the good God.
66. September 26, 1943.
Thank you for having me help with the warrants. At the first moment I felt that I was putting you in the embarrassment, I was very melancholy, saying to myself: "For more than 3 years that I have devoted myself without counting, one thinks only of boredom and 'embarrassment I give'. But suddenly these words of the Gospel put me back in a supernatural state: “When you have done all you could, say: We are useless servants” Lk 17,1. Oh ! how these words have restored me to truth and sweet peace. By reasoning otherwise, we delude ourselves, we fall into sadness, in short, we lose our way. How good God is to have put me in the truth with the help of our little Saint Thérèse. Thank Him with me, my darling little Mother, who helps me so supernaturally to bear my health test.
Your loving and grateful little girl,
Sister Marie of the Trinity cdi
