the Carmel
Therese's correspondence LT 176 – To Sister Thérèse-Dosithée (Léonie) – April 28, 1895

MARTIN Thérèse, Sister Thérèse of the Child Jesus
MARTIN Léonie, Sister Françoise-Thérèse



Sunday April 28, 1895

                My dear little sister,

                I would have liked to thank you sooner for your letter which gave me great pleasure, but Our Mother having answered you immediately, I was not able to write to you at the same time as her.
                Dear little Sister, I am intimately convinced that you are in your vocation, not only as Visitandine, but also as Visitandine of Caen, the Good Lord has given us so many proofs of this that there is no reason to doubt it. .. I regard this thought (of going to Le Mans) as a temptation and I pray to Jesus to deliver you from it. Oh ! as I understand that the delay in your profession must be a test for you, but it is such a great grace that the more time one has to prepare for it, the more one must also rejoice. I remember with pleasure what passed in my soul a few months before my profession. I saw my year of novitiate over and no one was taking care of me (because of our Father Superior who thought me too young), I assure you that I had a lot of trouble, but one day the good Lord made it clear that there was in this desire to pronounce my Holy Vows a great search for myself; so I said to myself: For the taking of the habit, I was dressed in a beautiful white dress trimmed with lace and flowers, who then thought of giving me one for my wedding?... This dress I have to prepare it myself. Jesus wants no one to help me except Him, so with his help I will set to work, working with ardor... The creatures will not see my efforts which will be hidden in my heart. Trying to make myself forgotten, I would like no other gaze than that of Jesus... It doesn't matter if I seem poor and devoid of spirit and talents... I want to put into practice this advice of the Imitation: “Let this one boast of one thing, that one of another, for you find your joy only in the contempt of yourself, in my will and my glory”; or: "Do you want to learn something that will serve you: Love to be ignored and counted for nothing!..." Thinking all this I felt a great peace in my soul, I felt that it was truth and peace! I no longer worried about the date of my profession, thinking that as soon as my wedding dress would be finished Jesus would come to get his poor little wife...
                Dear little Sister, I was not mistaken and even Jesus was satisfied with my desires, with my total abandonment. He deigned to unite me to Him much sooner than I dared to hope... Now the Good God continues to direct me along the same path, I have only one desire, that of doing His will. You may remember that in the past I liked to call myself "the little toy of Jesus", even now I am happy to be it, only I thought that the Divine Child had many other souls filled sublime virtues which called themselves "his toys", so I thought that they were his beautiful toys and that my poor soul was only a worthless little toy... to console myself, I said to myself that often children have more fun with small toys that they can leave or take, break or kiss at their whim than with others of greater value that they hardly dare to touch... So I rejoiced at being poor, I wanted to become more so each day so that each day Jesus would take more pleasure in playing with me.
                Dear little Sister, now that I have given you my direction, pray well for me so that I put into practice the lights that Jesus gives me.
                (Please offer my respectful remembrance to your good Mothers).

Your very little Sister who cherishes you, Thérèse of the Child Jesus rel.c.ind.

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