September 3, 1890
JMJT
Jesus
Dear lamb, yes, for us joys will always be mixed with suffering, the grace of yesterday asked for a crowning and it is to you that Jesus gave it, and then to me at the same time, because everything that makes me suffer hurts me deeply!... I would really like to know if Our Mother has consoled you and if you still have sorrow? It seems to me that we should thank "St Vieillard Siméon" and tell him that his letter has arrived, what do you think?... I give you a short note from my Sr Thérèse of Jesus, she gave this morning. Should I do all this to her?... I have no models and then it seems to me that the linen and the Blessed Virgin are more in a hurry, but I'm going to do what you're going to tell me.
Do you believe that Celine is really going to die?... I promised her yesterday to make my profession for both of us, but I will not have the courage to ask Jesus to leave her on earth if it is not his will. It seems to me that love can make up for a long life... Jesus does not look at time since there is no longer any in Heaven, He must only look at love. Ask him to give me a lot too, I don't ask for love that is sensitive but only felt from Jesus. Oh ! To love him and make him loved, how sweet!... Also tell him to take me on the day of my profession if I still have to offend him afterwards, for I would like to take to heaven the white robe of my second. baptism without any defilement, but it seems to me that Jesus can do the grace not to offend him anymore or to make only faults that do not OFFEND HIM but only humiliate and make love more strong. If you only knew how much I would tell you if I had words to express what I think or rather that I don't think but that I feel!... Life is very mysterious!... It's a desert and an exile... but deep in your soul you feel that there will one day be infinite DISTANCES, DISTANCES that will make you forget forever the sadness of the desert and exile...
the little grain of sand.
Father Domin does not know that I am making my profession, should I tell him? It seems to me that if Our Mother has not yet written to the Abbey, she could tell the Ladies to let her know?-
