From Sister Marie-Dosithée Guérin to her brother.
V+. J.
From our Mother of Le Mans
the 6 January 1866
Dear brother
I waited with impatience and concern for your letter, or rather your dear person, because I didn't think your exams would have to take so long; if you only have to take the 1st in 3 weeks, you will have two more after (Ch IG does not mention these exams), that will take you until spring, I really want it to end soon.
You are mistaken in saying that I do not wish for anything, because on the contrary I strongly desire not the goods of this world, but your sanctification and for that I consume myself in sighs and tears. Oh ! if you wanted, that you would make me happy! my happiness depends on you, although you say that you have feelings of anger that are impossible to repress, it's not true, we can dominate ourselves when we want to, it's true that it's difficult, especially when we're used to living from unbridled childhood, but it is nevertheless not impossible, and then what is not possible for man is possible for God *[1 v°] and the prayer made with confidence and perseverance joined to the efforts is I too am infallible, I am naturally very violent, but it is true that from childhood the fear of offending God held me back so strongly that the violence I inflicted on myself made my tears flow. St François de Sales who was the gentlest of men had taken 20 years to acquire this virtue, so he said: “Let anger or any passion come to tempt me; I will say to him: die if you want I will not only make a movement or even a wink in your favour", he showed it well on an occasion when someone having come to insult him he was taken by a very big movement of anger; nothing appeared there outwardly, his face, his demeanor exuded only gentleness and politeness, but during this interview he held his spleen (Doubtful reading of these 2 words, a scraping on the autograph having almost carried away the paper) in his hands and the effort he made to contain himself caused him to break it entirely, finally, after his death his gall was found in small pieces reduced to stone, the doctors found that it was the efforts he had done to conquer themselves; So tell me about men like that! But of soft souls, one should not expect much.
Zélie wrote me something about her little girls in her last letter which made me feel ashamed by reproaching me for my cowardice. She was asking Marie if she hadn't committed a little mistake, the little girl examines *[2 r°] her conscience and after a while she says: "No Mama, I didn't do it", so there- on it she was told to go to bed and that the good Lord was in her heart, her little face was lit up with joy, but then a moment later, she came down sobbing, the frightened mother asked what was wrong. , then the little one says: “Mom, I just remembered that I made a mistake, oh the good Lord is no longer in my heart, my soul is stained. They were obliged to console her by telling her that God had forgiven her. Little Pauline is even nicer, this poor child, when her sisters want to take her things, they say to her: "give them, my little girl, it's a pearl in your crown", so she doesn't oppose any resistance. You may laugh at this, but I was extremely consoled by seeing the glory that belongs to God. These little creatures praise him as much as is in their little power, and while reasonable and intelligent men employ all their strength, energy and wit to outrage him, these children make real sacrifices and which cost them much, to At this age, we care so much about these little trifles. *[2v°]
You tell me that you attended a conference on spiritualism, well what do you want me to say to you about that except that you drink iniquity like water, you don't have enough of your passions to offend your creator ; you still have to add magic to it, because you can say what you want, that's it; Finally, since the Church, the depository of the power of Christ, finds him like this, why do you want to judge otherwise, but your curiosity wants to be satisfied, that of our good Mother Eve wanted it too and it cost her dearly, it will be the same for you. There is no denying what is clear as day, the spirits of darkness play a role here below, and unless one has the obedience and humility to submit to ecclesiastical superiors, one will not escape the subtlety of their spirit and their 6000 years of experience.
You are well advanced that they have taught you things that I have reproached you for a long time, I am surprised that you have reached 25 without knowing that you were violent and many other faults. . .
Forgive me my dear little brother for speaking to you so harshly, but it pains me so much to see that you resist grace so much that each letter I receive from you plunges me into extreme affliction, it seems to me beforehand. open that I'm going to learn the happy news of your conversion and then nothing, isn't it sad!
I kiss you dear brother and I will always pray for you so that God will grant you not [2 v° tv] not what you wish but what I wish, I believe that is better. I do not wish you riches, nor honours, nor even good *[2 r° tv] health, nor a long life, but holiness, and then, if all these other things happen, they will be welcome; and don't imagine that it's because I don't love you, you would be greatly mistaken, I *[1 v° tv] wish you what I wish myself.
Your devoted sister
Sr. M. Dosithee Guérin
of the Von Ste Marie
DSB
